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A Little Priest
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Sweeney Todd
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1
Seems a downright shame
2
Shame?
3
Seems an awful waste
4
Such a nice, plump frame
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Wot's his name has
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Had
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Has
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Nor it can't be traced
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Business needs a lift
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Debts to be erased
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Think of it as thrift as a gift
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If you get my drift, no?
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Seems an awful waste
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I mean, with the price of meat
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What it is? When you get it
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If you get it, hah
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Good, you got it
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Take for instance, Mrs. Mooney and her pie shop
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Business never better using only pussycats and toast
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And a pussy's good for maybe six or seven at the most
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And I'm sure they can't compare as far as taste
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Mrs. Lovett, what a charming notion
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Well, it does seem a waste
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Eminently practical
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And yet appropriate as always, it's an idea
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Mrs. Lovett, how I've lived
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Without you all these years, I'll never know
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How delectable, also undetectable
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Think about it
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Lots of other gentlemen'll
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Soon be comin' for a shave
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Won't they?
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Think of all them pies
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How choice
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How rare
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For what's the sound of the world out there?
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What, Mr. Todd?
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What, Mr. Todd?
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What is that sound?
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Those crunching noises pervading the air
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Yes, Mr. Todd, yes, Mr. Todd
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Yes, all around
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It's man devouring man, my dear
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And then who are we to deny it in here?
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These are desperate times
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Mrs. Lovett and desperate measures are called for
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Here we are, now, hot out of the oven
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What is that?
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It's priest, have a little priest
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Is it really good? Sir, it's too good, at least
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Then again, they don't commit sins of the flesh
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So it's pretty fresh
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Awful lot of fat only where it sat
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Haven't you got poet, or something like that?
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No, y'see, the trouble with poet is
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'Ow do you know it's deceased? Try the priest
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Heavenly
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Not as hearty as bishop, perhaps
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But then again
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Not as bland as curate, either
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And good for business too
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Always leaves you wantin' more
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Trouble is
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We only get it on Sundays
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Lawyer's rather nice
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If it's for a price
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Order something else, though to follow
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Since no one should swallow it twice
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Anything that's lean
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Well then, if you're British and loyal
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You might enjoy Royal Marine
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Anyway, it's clean
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Though of course it tastes of wherever it's been
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Is that squire on the fire?
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Mercy, no sir, look closer
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You'll notice it's grocer
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Looks thicker, more like vicar
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No, it has to be grocer, it's green
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The history of the world, my love
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Save a lot of graves
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Do a lot of relatives favors
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Is those below serving those up above
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Everybody shaves
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So there should be plenty of flavors
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How gratifying for once to know
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That those above will serve those down below
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Now let's see, here we've got tinker
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Something pinker
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Tailor? Paler, Butler? Subtler
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Potter? Hotter, Locksmith?
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Lovely bit of clerk
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Maybe for a lark
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Then again there's sweep
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If you want it cheap
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And you like it dark
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Try the financier, peak of his career
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That looks pretty rank
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Well, he drank, it's a bank
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Cashier, never really sold
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Maybe it was old
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Have you any Beadle?
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Next week, so I'm told
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Beadle isn't bad till you smell it and
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Notice 'ow, well, it's been greased
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Stick to priest
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Now then, this might be a little bit stringy
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But then of course it's fiddle player
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No, this isn't fiddle player, it's piccolo player
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'Ow can you tell? It's piping hot then blow on it first
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The history of the world, my sweet
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Oh, Mr. Todd, ooh, Mr. Todd
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What does it tell?
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Is who gets eaten, and who gets to eat
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And, Mr. Todd, too, Mr. Todd
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Who gets to sell
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But fortunately, it's also clear
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That, but everybody goes down well with beer
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Since marine doesn't appeal to you
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'Ow about rear admiral?
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Too salty, I prefer general
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With or without his privates? 'With' is extra
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What is that? It's fop
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Finest in the shop
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And we have some shepherd's pie peppered
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With actual shepherd on top
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And I've just begun
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Here's the politician, so oily
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It's served with a doily
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Have one, put it on a bun
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Well, you never know if it's going to run
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Try the friar
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Fried, it's drier
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No, the clergy is really
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Too coarse and too mealy
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Then actor, that's compacter
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Yes, and always arrives overdone
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I'll come again
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When you have judge on the menu
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Wait, true, we don't have judge yet
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But we've got something you might fancy even better
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What's that? Executioner
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Have charity towards the world, my pet
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Yes, yes, I know, my love
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We'll take the customers that we can get
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High-born and low, my love
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We'll not discriminate great from small
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No, we'll serve anyone
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Meaning anyone
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And to anyone at all
Sweeney Todd A Little Priest with Lyrics
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