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Sudden Death
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1
I got 700 messages, three are from friends
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Who try to guilt me into sending their crap back to them
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All the rest, I would guess, are some kind of a scam
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That prevails in my mail in the form of SPAM
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There's an African queen and I'm the one she'd select
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'Cause she's got 20 million dollars that she has to protect
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She can't wait and would appreciate a timely answer
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And all she needs is my bank number for the transfer
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Sure, oh yeah, that sounds totally legit
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And here's my ATM card in case you need it
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I can't believe that people fall for this ****, it really sucks
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And last year these little pricks made a hundred million bucks
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Look, I won a free vacation to Hawaii
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All they need is my credit card number to verify
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Well, I'll just type that in for you right now
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Right after Hell freezes, and as time will allow
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True, interest rates are at an all-time low
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I'm no financial genius, but one thing I know
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I'm better off gettin' money from my dear old Mom
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Than from sexy chick three at hotmail.com
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Spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam
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(gradually get louder and repeat 3 times)
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Glorious spam, oh wonderful spam!
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These people don't know who I am and they don't
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Give a damn about me, they just give me spam
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So you can see what to me's a major source of my aggra-
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vation. Why these people think I need so much Viagra?
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And what's with all the offers for a ***** enlarger
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Some even come with a battery charger
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Here's a two-for-one offer, I don't know about you
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But what the hell am I supposed to do with two?
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Here's another chick who wants to meet me on line
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For a one-on-one chat, it's just $12.99
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She included a picture, says her name is Barbie
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But for that price, we could chat during dinner at Arby's
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I can work from home, and I can get rich quick
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I can buy some stupid herb so that I'll never get sick
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And if I act quick, I'll get a paper or somethin'
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That'll show me how to buy meds from Canada for nothin'
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It's amazing that these folks are so concerned about my health
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Considering when I had a flat, no one stopped to help
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But I can think for myself, so I'm not falling for squat
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Whether they can get me free gay porn or not
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Spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam
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(gradually get louder and repeat 3 times)
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Glorious spam, oh wonderful spam!
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[break, a couple quick parodies]
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(sung to "Stand" by REM)
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Spam in my inbox at work
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Get rich quick
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Think about the folks who send it
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Wonder why they don't have a life
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Spam in my inbox at home
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Free hot porn
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Think about the stuff I'm getting
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Wonder who these freaks think I am
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(Sung to "Slam" by Onyx)
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Spam! Du-duh-duh! Duh-duh-duh!
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You can work from home!
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Spam! Du-duh-duh! Duh-duh-duh!
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Get a low rate loan!
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Spam! Du-duh-duh! Duh-duh-duh!
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Take an on-line course!
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Spam! Du-duh-duh! Duh-duh-duh!
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See a girl and a horse!
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The following is a true story.
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Only the bandwidth has been changed to protect my quota.
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It all seemed to be the same, till one day I got
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A really strange one I didn't know whether to believe or not
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He claimed to be a time traveler with a broken field regulator
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Who needed a new dimensional warp generator
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Huh, that's a new one, I didn't know what to say
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'Cause I had just bought a used one that day on eBay
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I might have let him have it but I know what they're worth
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And he didn't have any money that was good on Earth
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So I'm gonna keep it, see if I can make it work
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I wanna travel to the future, visit Captain Kirk
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So until he gets some money that I know I can trust
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He can rot in 2000 (whatever) like the rest of us
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Spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam
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(gradually get louder and repeat 3 times)
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Glorious spam, oh wonderful spam!
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OK, let's see.
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I've got a message from my mother, my cousin, Dave, and spam.
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Spam, my sister, Traci, and spam.
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Spam, spam, spam, Luke Ski's newsletter, and spam.
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Spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, some
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stupid crap from my boss, and spam.
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Spam, spam, spam, oh look, somebody bought an album, and spam.
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Spam, spam, spam...
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(build chorus in background)
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Glorious spam, oh wonderful spam!
SVDDEN DEATH - Confusion Spell (Official...
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