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I'm Sorry
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King Missile
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1
No, I never was in Vietnam
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I never once dove into an empty
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swimming pool
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I never let the carpet walk right out
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from under me
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I never painted a house or a tree
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I never did become an exotic dancer, or a
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customer service representative
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I never took the pulse of a dying duck,
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or gave mouth to mouth
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resuscitation to a horse fly
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In a way, I suppose you could say
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my experience is quite limited
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For example, I never locked Oliver
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Cromwell in a broom closet while
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singing Waltzing Matilda
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I never sawed television in half,
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although I once saw Wendy O.
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Williams saw a guitar
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I never played a decent game of jacks
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I never played poker with a toothless one
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eyed pirate who kept
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picking his teeth with a bowie knife to
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distract me, while his parrot looked
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over my shoulder and told him what
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cards I had by using an elaborate code
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involving vomiting, chirping,
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and sea chanteys
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I never bought a lamp-wait; I did buy a
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lamp once
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But I never bought a lantern, or a
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lambskin prophylactic
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I never bought a loin or a
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Loinel Ritchie album
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I never bought anthing beginning with
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the letter "L" except lollipops, light
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bulbs and lettuce and the lamp
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I never laid down for a nap and found the
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Everly Brothers in bed with me
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I never let a cyborg take out the garbage
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I'm sorry
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I stole the radio
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I did it
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I sawed the legs off the periodic table
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I re-elected the president
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I did it, it was my fault
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I farted in the church
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I'm sorry
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I did many many bad things and I am so
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sorry!
King Missile- Jesus was way cool.
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