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Almost Round The World
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Danny Schmidt
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1
I took a photo of my mother with a puzzle on her face*
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She was lost in concentration next to tulips in a vase
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And I framed it good with maple wood and I hung it in its place
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And I called it "Almost Round The World In Less Than Eighty Days"
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Once I wrote a song about a parrot and a pig
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It was mostly about the way I wish I said the things I think
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And I played once for people in the Netherlands to see
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If it made the same strange sense to them as the sense it made to me
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There was a writer from the paper there and he wrote a nice review
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That got printed with a photo in the local music news
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But the caption read: “A cowboy poet sings about abuse
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Of animals in Texas and the things they’re made to do.”
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Well I laughed at bad translations and I showed it to my friends
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And they posted it online just for the fun and for the fans
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And I didn’t think much of it til one day a message came
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That said the vegans were erupting and the hunters were inflamed
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So I went and read the boards where all the flames were being thrown
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And my name was being doused about like fuel upon the coals
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The righteous and the roustabouts, the shepherds and the trolls
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They were passing around petitions, raising hell and forming folds
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And soon the loudest of the louds became the busiest of bees
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And it was hard to understand at all, but it was harder to believe
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When they somehow woke the NRA like a giant from its sleep
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And the beanstalk came a-crashing down and letters fell like leaves
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I’ve got an aunt in Arizona, she’s crazy but she’s kind
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She’s the kind to open all her mail and to easily subscribe
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To the pundits and their politics, the lobbies and their lies
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She reads em all like gospel and she eats em up like pie
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So imagine if you will the day she called my mom to see
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If it’s true that I love terrorists and communists and thieves
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Cause it said so in the letter that she’d so easily received
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And I rushed to get my camera before my mom could call retreat
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So I’ve got this photo of my mother with a puzzle on her face
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With the phone against her shoulder and my means against her ways
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And the tulips on the table danced in circles while I played
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I called it "Almost Round The World In Less Than Eighty Days"
Danny Schmidt - Swing Me Down
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