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Uneasy Rider
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BR5-49
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I was takin' a trip out to LA,
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Toolin' along in my Chevrolet
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Tokin' on a number and diggin' on the radio
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Jes' as I cross the Mississippi line
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I heard that highway start to whine
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And I knew that left rear tire was about to go
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Well the spare was flat and I got uptight
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'Cause there wasn't a fillin' station in sight
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So I jes' limped down the shoulder on the rim
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I went as far as I could and when I stopped the car
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It was right in front of this little bar
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A kind of a redneck lookin' joint called the Dew Drop Inn
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Well I stuffed my hair up under my hat
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And told the bartender that I had a flat
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And would he be kind enough to give me change for a one
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There was one thing I was sure proud to see
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There wasn't a soul in the place 'cept for him an' me
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And he just looked disgusted an' pointed toward the telephone
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I called up the station down the road a ways
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And he said he wasn't very busy t'day
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And he could have somebody there in jest 'bout ten minutes or so
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He said now you jes' stay right where yer at and I didn't bother
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Tellin' the durn fool
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I sure as hell didn't have anyplace else to go
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I jes ordered up a beer and sat down at the bar
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When some guy walked in an' said who owns this car
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With the peace sign the mag wheels and four on the floor
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Well he looked at me and I damn near died
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And I decided that I'd jus wait outside
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So I layed a dollar on the bar and headed for the door
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Jes' when I thought I'd get outta there with my skin
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These five big dude come strollin' in
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With this one old drunk chick and some fella with green teeth
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An' I was almost to the door when the biggest one
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Said you tip your hat to this lady son
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An' when I did all that hair fell out from underneath
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Now the last thing I wanted was to get into a fight
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In Jackson Mississippi on a Saturday night
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'Specially when there was three of them and only one of me
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Well they all started laughin' and I felt kinda sick
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And I knew I'd better think of somethin' pretty quick
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So I jes' reached out an' kicked ol' green-teeth right in the knee
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He let out a yell that'd curl your hair
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But before he could move I grabbed me a chair
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And said watch him folks 'cause he's a thouroughly dangerous man
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Well you may not know it but this man's a spy
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He's an undercover agent for the FBI
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And he's been sent down here to infiltrate the Ku Klux Klan
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He was still bent over holdin' on to his knee
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But everyone else was lookin' and listenin' to me
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And I layed it on thicker and heavier as I went
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I said would you beleive this man has gone as far
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As tearin' Wallace stickers off the bumpers of cars
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And he voted for George McGoveren for president
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Well he's a friend of them long-haired hippie type pinko fags
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I betcha he's even got a Commie flag
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Tacked up on the wall inside of his garage
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He's a snake in the grass I tell ya guys
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He may look dumb but that's jus a disguise
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He's a mastermind in the ways of espionage
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They all started lookin' real suspicious at him
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And he jumped up an' said jes' wait a minute Jim
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You know he's lyin' I've been livin' here all of my life
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I'm a faithfull follower of Brother John Burch
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And I belong to the Antioch Baptist Church
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And I ain't even got a garage you can call home and ask my wife
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Then he started sayin' somethin' 'bout the way I was dressed
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But I didn't wait around to hear the rest
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I was too busy movin' and hopin' I didn't run outta luck
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And when I hit the ground I was makin' tracks
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And they were jes' takin' my car down off the jacks
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So I threw the man a twenty an' jumped in an' fired that mother up
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Mario Andretti woulda sure been proud
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Of the way I was movin' when I passed that crowd
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Comin' out the door and headin' toward me in a trot
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An' I guess I shoulda gone ahead an' run
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But somehow I couldn't resist the fun
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Of chasin' them jes' once around the parkin' lot
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Well they're headin' for their car but I hit the gas
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And spun around and headed them off at the pass
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Well I was slingin' gravel and puttin' a ton of dust in the air
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Well I had them all out there steppin' an' a fetchin'
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Like their heads were on fire and their asses was catchin'
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But I figured I oughta go ahead an split before the cops got there
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When I hit the road I was really wheelin'
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Had gravel flyin' and rubber squeelin'
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An' I didn't slow down 'til I was almost to Arkansas
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I think I'm gonna re-route my trip
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I wonder if anybody'd think I'd flipped
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If I went to LA via Omaha!
Uneasy Rider
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