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Doin' It the Hard Way
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Betty Hutton
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At the early age of three
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It first occured to me
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A girl should always try to improve herself.
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While the others played with toys
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I practiced charm and poise.
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And finished Dr. Elliot's five foot shell.
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I exercised each morning,
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Cold creamed my face each night,
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Saw my dentist twice a year,
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Curbed my appetite.
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And so I modestly admit
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It didn't help one single bit!
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Some girls can make any man dream
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By flashing an innocent gleam.
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Me, I do and hiccup, curl my upper lip up,
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Light a roman candle and scream.
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I have to do it the hard way!
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Some girls can wear any old rags
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And capture the wolves and the stags.
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Me, I dress in sables, walk across the tables
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Waving three American flags.
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I have to do it the hard way.
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Let's say there's a dance
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They're playing a waltz.
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And I want romance,
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That's when I begin turning sommersalts.
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Some girls can keep men on their toes
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By smiling and throwing a rose,
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Me, I wrack my noodle, whistle "Yankee Doodle"
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Balancing a broom on my nose.
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Oh Ima telling you why!
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I have to do it the hard way.
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I have to do it the hard way.
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Suppose there's a park,
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A boy on a bench.
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I'm out for a lark
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So I make him fall with a monkey wrench.
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When someone like Hedy Lamarr
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Steps into the swankiest bar,
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All the fellas get up
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Light her cigarette up.
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Me, I'd have to smoke a cigar.
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And then they call me a car.
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Dr., is there a chance for me?
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Can't you cure this insanity?
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I'm tired of tearing up the town being one of the sights
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Wearing funny hats trimmed in neon lights.
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Why must all I always be bettered and scorned
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Doin' everything the hard way?
Cameron Whitcomb - The Hard Way (Lyrics)
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