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After School Special
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Uncle Kracker
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1
You know they call off your signature
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You pay extra for that
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It started out in 84 for me
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Had them beat street blues and no crews to compete
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'Cause you were too fuckin' dumb, nobody gave a fuck
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Poppin' and lockin' and we couldn't be touched
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I grew up in dem days when graffiti was the ways
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The close-minded people thought rap was the phase
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'Cause it was a phase, maybe a fad for some
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But for the few who knew it was true and we was one
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Dumb was the lingo and def was phat
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If you were dope you were fresh, if you wasn't you was whack
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In fact it was crews like Run that had style
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Shit like that made it all worth while
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And I ain't even one to ponder
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Be it known as I've grown I've be comproned to wander
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And ramble like gamble, you lost your ass
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You went from Jersey to Vegas and back to Cass
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Outta cash and then you was fuckin' wasted
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Broke as fuck you were livin' in your mom and pops basement
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Yeah, I was faceless, poor and unknown
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All that runnin' just to crawl back home
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You dumb fuck, what the fuck were you thinkin'?
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Suicide doors on a '67 Lincoln
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I had big dreams of runnin' on big screens
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Topless swim teams all up in the limousines
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Magazines with my face on the cover
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I was trying to get rich quick like my older brother
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I was the other, the younger of two
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The quiet little kid and my friends were few
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Well of course they were few 'cause you had no dough
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Them rats run fast when the cheese don't show
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You know a little money lets you place your bet
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Makes a good girl wet, makes a friend forget
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They like it when you spend a little
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They love it when you spend a lot
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They love me for me, just me, I think not
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How could you be so goddamn dumb?
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You need to take your punk ass back to where it came from
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I ain't that dumb but this ain't Mary Poppins
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How many times must I give you your options?
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Happy, humble, famous or rich
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You only get two and only you can pick
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Well, I pick going back to my old school
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Grabbin' that teacher that made me a fool
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Beat his fuckin' ass with a baseball bat till there ain't nothing left
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What ch'you think about that?
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You mean the football coach that had no life
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The five day beard and a ugly ass wife
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Yeah, I'd like that but what would it prove
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Half them teachers never had one clue
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They punked me out because they flunked life's test
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Them broke mother fuckers couldn't spell success
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There's character flaws up in front of the class
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Make a kid sweat bullets for a bathroom pass
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They used to tell me I'd amount to shit
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But now I got accounts that tell me I'm rich
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It sounds sick all the money I make
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I get it all having learned from your dumb mistakes
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Well, it's about fuckin' time, you came to your senses
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I thought I was going to have to dig through the trenches
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Yeah, I'm relentless, it's for our own good
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Are you listening? Yeah, motherfucker, you should
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I think I've been good with the rules they gave me
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I just bent them a little with the tools they gave me
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They can't save me, I saved myself
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How does one dumb kid build a mountain of wealth?
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How does it feel when you can't say no
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When you want something so bad you can't let go?
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How do you know when enough is enough
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When you're the last motherfucker that can still stand up?
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I'm not a slug but you'd put one in the head
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Put a fucker on his back and leave him for dead, uhh
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How 'bout a knife, could you stick one in his side
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Give it a couple fuckin' turns and let him die?
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Could you hide from a crew? Could you lie through a crew?
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Could you knock it all back with a couple of brews?
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And could you be a man and carry his casket?
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Would you sit like a bitch while you're gettin' your ass kicked?
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How 'bout molasses, are you that slow?
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You give a frogs fat ass if you win place or show
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I keep on keepin' on that's true
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And when it's done I can say I gave a fuck, can you?
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