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Baby's Breath
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Otep
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1
The soft sound of snow crunching
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Underfoot gives me comfort.
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Her building is at the end of the block.
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She lives on the north side.
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Bottom floor. Middle apartment.
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I see her, one, two, three, four, five steps.
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Wrong key. Lock clicks. She drops her
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Coat and scarf in the entry and
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Kicks off those, vexing shoes.
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She shuffles to the kitchen and pours
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A glass of scotch. (I am inside)
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She lights a cigarette and blows
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The smoke over the match. (She doesn't notice)
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The gray smog rises from her
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Lips like a cremation furnace.
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The simple elegance of this quiet
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Moment is almost irresistible.
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(But, I wait)
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She slugs back the scotch,
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Finishes her smoke and ashes it
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In the sink. She unties her hair
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And enters the hallway, past the
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Childless bedroom with the empty
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Crib, past the altar coated in wax
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Like a wedding cake, and the tiny
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Packages of meat, dead flowers,
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And baby's breath.
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She enters the bathroom, where
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She undresses. She sits on the
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Edge of the bath. Her naked body
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Folded in half, heavy tits hanging
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Like mushy stalactites over her
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Lap. (Oh, precious) She closes her
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Eyes and holds her head as if it
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Might float away.
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For a moment, my thoughts drift
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Again, this time to the hammer
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I am holding. The handle is
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Smooth as bone, the forged steel
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Head is heavy, and I feel powerful.
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She reaches for the faucet
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And I snap back to the moment.
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Bubbles brim the edge of the
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Tub. Her fingers check the water
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Temperature and I am ready.
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I move behind her. She doesn't
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Hear. I swing the hammer. She
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Doesn't see. I crack her skull.
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She's in the tub. Face down. I am
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Drowning her, mashing her head
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To the bottom, knifing the claw of
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The hammer into her spine and
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Ribs over and over and over and
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Over and over and over and over
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And over and,
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Her body stops pretending to
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Care and surrenders as it is supposed
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To. just to be sure, I press
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Hard, keeping her head beneath
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The bloody water a few moments
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More. Her neck snaps, her nose
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Breaks, and her face collapses
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Against the bottom of the tub. I
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See my reflection in the mirror
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And soapy foam has formed a half
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Smile over the black nylon mask
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I am wearing
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I lean to her. The water glistens
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Like glass. I hover over the
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Surface, soft breath causing tiny
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Quakes, and whisper, "I have done
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To you what nature has done to me."
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She doesn't reply.
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I stand and turn off the light.
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The room is dark and empty.
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Just like I am now.
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