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Vertebrea
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Christine Fellows
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1
A photo essay of a family in mourning
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perforated ever so slightly to better let the lights seep through
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Sunday traffic clears a path
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we float inches above the road
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close our eyes and drive so slow
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like we never need to get home
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To clear the doorstep of flowers
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throw open the blinds in his empty room
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avert our eyes from his fingerprints
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is there something I'm forgetting?
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fall to my knees in the hospital parking lot
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on the way in, arms full of branches
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I am dead fall, dead fall
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Last time I came here to visit him
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I ran sunburn through the halls
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my arms full of tiger lilies
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I don't remember this
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I was told to go home
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To clear the doorstep of flowers
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throw open the blinds in his empty room
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avert my eyes from his fingerprints
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is there something I'm forgetting?
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(Why, when you know you should go, is it so hard to leave?)
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Came this far to say goodbye, to make things right
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instead I fiddle with his blankets
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fetching coffee no one would drink
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I am not prepared
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Through the hush of debts and the roar of engines
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struggled to recall, this is how it ended
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this is how it ends
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Home,
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turn the key in the door and fall
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for what it seems like an awfully long time
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there's something I'm both remembering and forgetting
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a name on the tip of my tongue
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(Why, when you know you should go, is it so hard to leave?)
Christine Fellows - Migrations
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