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If I Were Prime Minister
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Arrogant Worms
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1
If I were prime minister I'd transform the land
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All things would be glorious under my firm strong hand
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I'd enlarge Prince Edward Island and shrink the tax on booze
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If I were Prime Minister the Leafs would never lose
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If I were Prime Minister French and English would be gone
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There'd be no more two solitudes "˜cause we'd all speak Klingon
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And I'd give my buddies jobs they weren't qualified for
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Wait, I'm so sorry, I think that's been done before
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If I were Prime Minister Canadians would tan
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In the Gulf of Mexico where I'd move Newfoundland
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If I were prime Minister I would use my power
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To finally make the donut our official flower
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And I'd make it illegal to sit and bitch and whine
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Though that might leave Canadians with too much spare time
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And I would be Prime Minister if only for one flaw
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I don't think that I could ever live in Ottawa
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If I were, if I were, if I were Prime Minister
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If I were, if I were, if I were Prime Minister
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If I were, if I were, if I were Prime Minister
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If I were, if I were, if I were Prime Minister
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I'd bathe in Maple Syrup and I'd have a talking moose
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And Mounties would massage me to keep me nice and loose
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I'd get rid of the Queen and replace it with my cat
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And appointment to the Senate would be trial by combat
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I'd fix all the problems of our country's apparatus
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By granting ever person, nation status
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I'd encourage global warming, move the jetstream further north
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And I'd ban all politicians, except for me of course
When Canada Rules the World
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