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A Hymn to Him
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Nat King Cole
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1
What in all of heaven could've prompted her to go,
2
After such a triumph as the ball?
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What could've depressed her,
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What could've possessed her?
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I cannot understand the wretch at all.
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Women are irrational, that's all there is to that!
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There heads are full of cotton, hay, and rags!
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They're nothing but exasperating, irritating,
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Vacillating, calculating, agitating,
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Maddening and infuriating hags!
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Pickering, why can't a woman be more like a man?
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Hm
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Yes,
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Why can't a woman be more like a man?
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Men are so honest, so thoroughly square,
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Eternally noble, historic'ly fair,
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Who, when you win, will always give your back a pat.
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Well, why can't a woman be like that?
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Why does ev'ryone do what the others do?
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Can't a woman learn to use her head?
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Why do they do ev'rything their mothers do?
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Why don't they grow up- well, like their father instead?
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Why can't a woman take after a man?
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Men are so pleasant, so easy to please,
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Whenever you are with them, you're always at ease.
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Would you be slighted if I didn't speak for hours?
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Of course not!
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Would you be livid if I had a drink or two?
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Nonsense.
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Would you be wounded if I never sent you flowers?
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Never.
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Well, why can't a woman be like you?
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One man in a million may shout a bit.
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Now and then there's one with slight defects;
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One, perhaps, whose truthfulness you doubt a bit.
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But by and large we are a marvelous sex!
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Why can't a woman take after like a man?
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Cause men are so friendly, good natured and kind.
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A better companion you never will find.
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If I were hours late for dinner, would you bellow?
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Of course not!
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If I forgot your silly birthday, would you fuss?
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Nonsense.
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Would you complain if I took out another fellow?
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Never.
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Well, why can't a woman be like us?
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Mrs. Pearce, you're a woman,
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Why can't a woman be more like a man?
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Men are so decent, such regular chaps.
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Ready to help you through any mishaps.
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Ready to buck you up whenever you are glum.
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Why can't a woman be a chum?
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Why is thinking something women never do?
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Why is logic never even tried?
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Straight'ning up their hair is all they ever do.
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Why don't they straighten up the mess that's inside?
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Why can't a woman behave like a man?
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If I was a woman who'd been to a ball,
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Been hailed as a princess by one and by all;
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Would I start weeping like a bathtub overflowing?
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And carry on as if my home were in a tree?
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Would I run off and never tell me where I'm going?
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Why can't a woman be like me?
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