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No Booty Calls
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Kelly
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1
Hello?
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Hey, it's your ex!
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It's one in the morning, what the hell do you want?
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Baby, I'm horny.
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So, what are you saying?
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You wanna get together?
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I want you to come over
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All dressed in leather
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Like you used to do.
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Back in '02.
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You give me nice dreams,
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Make me wanna scream, ooo, ooo, ooo!
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That's not happening again.
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That was was back then,
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Now I'm interested in bigger and better men.
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No booty calls,
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Deck!
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No booty calls,
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Deck!
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That's not happening!
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Aww, Kelly, I still got it goin' on.
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I know you're hot as trot and I'm warm for your foam.
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Wow, with clichйs like that,
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I'm really torn.
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Your game is played,
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Go back to your porn.
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Start me up,
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You make a dead man c**.
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Well you can just drop dead,
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Cause, you ain't getting some.
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What happened to the freak that used to rock my world?
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Well the freak's still here,
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But she's not your girl!
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You broke up with me.
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I made a mistake.
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So why don't just ask me out on a date?
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Uhh, uhh,
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Tonight's date?
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Please.
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No booty calls,
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Deck.
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No booty calls!
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That's not happening!
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Remember when we hit it in the parking lot?
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Outside of I-hop?
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Yeah, that was so hot!
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Thank you, I'm flattered,
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But it doesn't matter.
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I remember that you threw up
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In the pancake batter.
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You've got a problem,
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You're drunk all the time.
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Are you even sure
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That this phone number's mine?
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Uh, yeah? Uh,
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Wait... What?
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If that confuses you,
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I'm gonna have to lose you,
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Go back to first grade
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And get yourself a Blue's clue.
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I don't ever know what ever made me choose you.
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Aww, but we're good together!
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But I can do better!
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No one makes you wetter!
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Buddy, you're like Cheddar.
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Cheesy!
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White cheddar.
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You know, I moved out of my mom's
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And I got my own crib.
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That's funny.
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That's just were you belong, a crib.
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You saying I'm your baby?
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I'm saying you're A baby.
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I'm not hearin' yes or no, I'm hearin' maybe.
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Then get your hearing checked,
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Because you can't play me.
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I'm a playa,
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Hate the game, don't hate me.
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That's not how that phrase goes.
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I know, but you just turn me on baby,
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From my head to my toes.
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Jesus Christ!
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Could you at least be original!
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If games were the truth
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Then your's would be fictional.
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Baby, I got style,
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And I got class.
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I got a brand new boot for your ass.
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No booty calls,
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Deck!
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Aww, come on baby!
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No, no booty calls!
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That's not happening!
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Hey Kelly from the block,
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I don't just talk the talk.
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I walk to walk,
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And I know you like my-
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Hey! Johnny-come-lately,
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Don't discombobulate me.
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If you want some of this,
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You have to properly date me.
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You mean wine and dine?
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That's a waste of time.
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I can spend five dollars
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And still get mine.
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Since that's probably all you have,
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Lemme buy you a hint,
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How's this?
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Go stuff your b-hole,
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With a Junior Mint.
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Baby, all I wanna do is make you sweat.
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Let me be the Romeo to your Juliet.
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Ok, drink some poison
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And I'll stab myself.
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You'd know that story
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If you ever took a book off the shelf.
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I don't need no book.
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Double negative, so you do.
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My dick's hard, look!
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That's majority's so rude!
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I don't understand
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All these big words you use.
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I don't need big words,
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Cause, I got big shoes.
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Verbally,
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You're a moron.
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Sexually,
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A cling-on.
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I'm more mature now,
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I need a mental turn on.
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Baby, I got brains in my underwear.
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My dick equals mc squared! Boom!
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You need to go back to physics class,
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The only brain in your pants
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Is your head up your ass.
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Check that!
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You know, you could be right!
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Cause you do c** faster
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Than the speed of light!
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You must admit,
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I got a load like a stallion.
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I skeet skeet on with my
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Creamy Italian.
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Eww!
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What am I to you?
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A salad bar?
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You like to skeet so much
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I need a dick sneeze guard.
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You want some tonight?
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I want some never.
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That's not what you said
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Back when we were together.
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Well that's not happening,
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That was back then,
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And now I'm interested in
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Smarter, employed men.
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No booty calls,
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Deck!
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No booty calls!
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That's not happening!
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No booty calls, deck!
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Sorry!
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Aww, come on baby!
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You know I'm-
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No, don't interrupt me!
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No booty calls!
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Oh, not back on that again!
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Yeah, we are, because I don't want one.
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Don't you want to check out my new stereo?
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I don't think so!
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I know you'll like it!
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Whatever!
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Come on baby, come over.
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No! This phone conversation's over!
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**Dial tone**
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Deck.
Shoes the Full Version
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