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This Grudge [Vancouver Sessions]
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Alanis Morissette
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1
Fourteen years
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Thirty minutes
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Fifteen seconds I've
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Held this grudge
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Eleven songs
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Four full journals
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Thoughts of punishment
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I've expended
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Not in contact
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Not a letter
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Such communication
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Telepathic
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You've been vilified
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Used as fodder
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You deserve a piece
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Of every record
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But who's it hurting now?
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Who's the one that's stuck?
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Who's it torturing now
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With an antique knot in her stomach?
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I want to be big and let go
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Of this grudge that's grown old
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All this time I've not known
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How to rest this bygone
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I wanna be soft and resolved
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Clean of slate and released
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I wanna forgive for the both of us
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Like an abandoned house
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Dusty covered
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Furniture
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Still intact
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If I visit it now
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Will I simply re-live it
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Somehow gratuitous
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But who's still aching now?
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Who's tired of her own voice?
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Who is it weighing down
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With no gift from time of said healing
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I want to be big and let go
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Of this grudge that's grown old
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All this time I've not known
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How to rest this bygone
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I wanna be soft and resolved
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Clean of slate and released
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I wanna forgive for the both of us
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Maybe as I cut the cord
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Veils will lift from my eyes
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Maybe as I lay this to rest
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Dead weight off my shoulders will rise
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Here I sit
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Much determined
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Ever ill-equipped
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To draw this curtain
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How this has entertained
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Validated
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And has served me well
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Ever the victim
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But who's done whining now?
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Who's ready to put down
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This load I've carried longer than I had cared to remember
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I want to be big and let go
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Of this grudge that's grown old
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For the life of me I've not known
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How to rest this bygone
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I wanna be soft and resolved
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Clean of slate and released
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I wanna forgive for the both of us.
Alanis Morissette jagged little pill hid...
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