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Bum Biddy
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Adam Sandler
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1
Everyone in this room has been associated with Whitey
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Either through basketball or the mall or various odd
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Jobs he does around town for free or at most a dollar
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And I'm guessing 99% of you have either laughed in Whitey's
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Face or ruthlessly made fun of his feet or voice or sister
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Or shortness when he wasn't looking
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But the next time you'd see him he'd still go out of his way to
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Smile and wave at you and ask you about your mother's
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Operation or something like that because he, unlike us,
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Actually cares about someone other than himself
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The reason I bring this up to you is because I was the worst
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Offender of all
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My life was simply going nowhere
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Then a tiny little man rushed to my side
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He should've gotten a big thank you
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Instead he got a Porta-Potti ride
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I was such a shithead
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But he never quit on me
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'Til I told him he was useless
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And his sister was freaky
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Once when we were watching Sunday football
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A fuzzy screen was all that we could see
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Whitey came over with a hanger
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And spent the game atop our T.V.
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And when the lightning struck him
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He let out a wicked, loud yell
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But we just turned up the volume
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And ignored the burning smell
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We should all rot in hell
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I went to high school with Whitey
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As a joke I told him to meet me at the prom
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When he got there, I said:
Eight Crazy Nights | Bum Biddy Song
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