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Rosseta Stoned
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1
Alrighty, then ... picture this if you will.
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10 to 2 AM, X Yogi DMT
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and a box of Krispy Kremes,
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in my need-to-know post
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just outside Area 51 contemplating
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the whole chosen people thing
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when just then a flaming, stealth banana split the sky. like, one would hope to expect but never see in a place like this.
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Cutting right angle donuts on a dime and stopping
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right on my Birkenstocks.
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then me yelping "Holy fucking shit!"
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Then the X-Files beings,
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who was like some kind of blue-green jackie chan
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with Isabella Rossellini lips with breath that reeked of vanilla
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chig-champa
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(also while making the sound a-banana-da-banana
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that's when I opened up.. those lyrics are totally wrong but i can't remember it right now. not going by the track atm) my bug-eyes,
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my gaping jaw,
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and my sweaty L. Ron Hubbard upper lip,
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and all I could think was,
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"I hope Uncle Marty here doesn't notice
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that I pissed my fuckin' pants."
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So alive in this way
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Like an apparition,
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He had me crying out,
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"Fuck me
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It's gotta be
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Deadhead
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Chemistry
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The Blotter got on top of me
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Got me seein' E-motherfuckin'-T!"
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And after calming me down
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with some orange slices
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and some fetal spooning,
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E.T. revealed to me his singular purpose.
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He said, "You are the Chosen One,
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the One who will deliver the message.
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A message of hope to those who choose to hear it
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and a warning for those who do not."
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Me. The Chosen One?
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They chose me, and I didn't graduate from fuckin' high school.
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You'd better...
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You'd better...
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You'd better...
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You'd better listen.
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Then he looked right through me
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With somniferous almond eyes
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Don't even know what that means
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Must remember to write it down
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This is so real
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Like the time Dave floated away
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See, my heart is pounding
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'Cause this shit never happens to me
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I can't breathe right now!
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It was so real,
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Like I woke up in Wonderland.
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All sorta terrifying
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I don't wanna be all alone
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When I tell this story.
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And can anyone tell me why
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Ya'll sound like Peanut's parents.
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Will I ever be coming down?
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This is so real
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Finally, it's my lucky day
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See, my heart is racing
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'Cause this shit never happens to me
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I can't breathe right now!
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You believe me, don't you?
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Please believe what I just said!
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See the Dead ain't touring.
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And this wasn't all in my head.
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See, they took me by the hand
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And invited me right in.
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Then they showed me something
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I don't even know where to begin.
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Strapped down on my bed
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Feet cold, eyes red
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I'm out of my head
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Am I alive? or am I dead?
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Can't remember what they said
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God damn, shit the bed
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[High] ...
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Overwhelmed as one would be, placed in my position.
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Such a heavy burden now to be the One
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Born to bear and read to all the details of our ending,
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To write it down for all the world to see.
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But I forgot my pen
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Shit the bed again ...
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Typical.
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Strapped down to my bed
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Feet cold and eyes red
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I'm out of my head
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Am I alive? Am I dead?
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Sunkist and Sudafed
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Gyroscopes and infrared
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Won't help, I'm brain dead
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Can't remember what they said
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God damn, shit the bed
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I can't remember what they said to me
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Can't remember what they said to make me out to be a hero
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Can't remember what he said
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God help me!
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Can't remember what he said
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Don't know, won't know (x12)
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God damn, shit the bed!
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