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Packet Man
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Digital Underground
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1
Excuse me trooper, will you be needing any packets
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Today? Yo, be , don't be throwin' on my jacket, ok?
3
Cool, just trying to get your attention
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So you can take a look at this invention
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Now peep these, I got some more in my jacket
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[Man, what are these, condoms?] Uh uh: sex packets
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It's like a pill, you can either chew it up
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Or like an alka-seltzer, dissolve it in a cup
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And get this: see the girl on the cover?
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You black out, and she becomes your lover
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[You're trippin] no, I'm serious, these are authentic
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[Yeah, well I don't take hallucenogenics]
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Wrong again, my man, this is way more real
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But since you know everything, I'll make someone else a deal
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Yeah he's the packet man
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Yeah he's the packet man
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Yeah he's the packet man
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Yeah he's the packet man
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[Well now you got me curious, I'm kind thinkin bout buyin it]
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Three for ten dollars, it can't hurt to try it
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[Well what exactly do I get?]
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Well read what it says, look at the picture [Bet
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It says Chinese girl, age 17, waist 24, hips 33,
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Hmmm, this one here says young black virgin
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Man this is crazy, I'm gonna have to splure an
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Get me a few of these things. How long do they last?]
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Well it depends, let's see
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These cheap ones here are ten minutes
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But these are extra power, they last about a half an hour
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And these here sell for bout 40
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'Cause you get two girls [Yeah it says orgy]
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Right, and if you're married, it's no big deal
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You're not cheating at all, you're just poppin a pill
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And if your wife's got a headache and wants to hit the sack
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It's cool, take a packet fool
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Biochemically compacted sexual affection
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Now here, take a look at my selection
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Yeah he's the packet man
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Yeah he's the packet man
40
Yeah he's the packet man
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Yeah he's the packet man
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[OK, I want these two boxes of three
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And give my blondy here, and that one that says orgy
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And, by the way, I need something for my woman]
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Sure, I got guy packets [Cool, give me some of em]
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Now let me tell you how to take it:
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Either sit of lie down, and you really should be naked
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Otherwise you're gonna mess up your clothes, know what I mean?
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This is more then just a dream
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It's very realistic and it's gonna blow your mind
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So be careful: only take one at a time
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And never take one behind the wheel
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You'll black out and hit a pole [Cool, let's make the deal]
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These are 40, these are 80, and this one here is 10
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Just give me a hundred dollars, I'll call it even
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But don't pull your money out yet, see
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There's one or two narcs in this area that sweat me
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Over here, [Yeah, this looks kinda cool
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20, 40, 60, 80 a hundred, shmoove]
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Here's my number, in case you need to reach me again
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And remember, you need to be as safe as you can
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There's only one thing safer then using your hand
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Dial that beeper number, and call the packet man
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Yeah he's the packet man
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Yeah he's the packet man
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Yeah he's the packet man
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Yeah he's the packet man
Digital Underground - The Humpty Dance (...
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