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Comic Relief
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Bette Midler
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1
Oh God, Oh God, life is real life
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Is when you wanna sing Polly-Wally-Doodle all the day,
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Well you know, I may well be a sequel to Jaws,
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In which a shark is attacked by a great white woman,
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Actually I'm not going to do the sequel to Jaws at all,
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I'm making the sequel to 'Emanuelle',
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I call it 'Temple Emanuelle'. Actually it's not dirty at all,
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It's just a lot of kissing and mezzuzas.
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And er, one singular sub-plot,
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In which a woman who has an un-natural relationship with a Kreplach.
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I know there must be one or two of you out there,
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Who haven't got the vaguest idea what the hell is a Kreplach,
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And to both of you I say,
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A Kreplach is a person from Kreplachia,
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Which is a very small fishing nation wedged between Estonia and Latvia,
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You don't hear from them too much since the iron curtain fell!
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But every now and again, one or two Kreplach's manage to escape
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But never to Cleveland!
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Yes!
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Not true!
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What?
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There we have one Kreplach.
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Who one Kreplach that managed to get to Cleveland!
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In fact, I venture to say that was the Kreplach that ate Cleveland!
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Are you sure!?
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No, Belle Barth used to say:
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'Shut your hole honey, mines making money!'
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Oh!
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Ooh, she didn't say that!
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I never said that,
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I didn't say that,
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I never said that!
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Oh did you hear the news!?
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You haven't heard the news,
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I must tell you the news,
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I am the harbinger of news here.
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I slept with Jack Kennedy
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You wanna know what else!?
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They slept with Jack Kennedy!
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Talk about your bad pigs! Really.
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Oh, I'm sorry Girls.
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Oh my God,
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Oh God,
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Oh God,
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Alright,
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Oh God,
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Oh God,
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Oh God,
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Oh God,
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Alright,
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Alright,
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Alright!
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Please forgive me everyone!
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Please forgive me!
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Just a little yolk,
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Fuck 'em if they can't take a joke!
The Rose - by Bette Midler + lyrics
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