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The Truth
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Amanda Palmer
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DO YOU SWEAR TO TELL THE TRUTH THE WHOLE TRUTH
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AND NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH SO HELP YOUR BLACK ASS
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---
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when i was six years old my sister alyson
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asked for a stove for her birthday
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a miniature one you could actually cook with
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and my mom was nice and she bought one
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alyson needed a reason to bake something
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barged in my room and she grabbed me
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she said:
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"i made a cake and we're going next door
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to sam weinstein's and you're getting married"
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the cake was burned
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it tasted gross
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she made me kiss him
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on the mouth
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now i am 33
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unmarried happily
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no plans in life and i'm planning to keep it that way
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i do kissing with only one mission
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do you like to kiss? then you have my permission
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and i have already spent too much time
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doing things i didn't want to
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so if i just want to make out all the time
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you can bet your black ass that i'm going to
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when i was nine i was kind of a loser
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the kids in my class didn't like me
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melanie chow was the meanest of all
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and my mom made me go to her party
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nobody talked to me i sat there quietly
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drawing with crayons on a napkin
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a picture of melanie skewered with a pitchfork
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her legs getting eaten by lions
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the cake was good
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i took some home
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i had a party
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in my room
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now i have friends and i'm not such a loser
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but i go to bars all alone and i sit there
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and order red wine and i write and i like being alone around people
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yes that's how i like it
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and i've already spent too much time
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doing things i didn't want to
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so if i wanna sit here and write and drink wine
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you can bet your black ass that i'm going to
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yes i come here often
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sure i'll have another one
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yes i come here often
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sure i'll have another one
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but i don't have to talk to you
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when i was 17 i was a blowjob queen
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picking up tips from the masters
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i was so busy perfecting my art i was clueless to what they were after
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now i'm still a blowjob queen (far more selectively)
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i don't make love now to make people love me
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but i don't mind sharing my gift with the planet
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we're all gonna die and a blowjob's fantastic
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and
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when i was 25 i was a rock star
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but it didn't pay too well i had to strip on the side
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of the road to get ready for shows and the cars driving by
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baby they'd never know
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what a bargain they'd gotten
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and if i'm forgotten
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i'm perfectly happy with all that has happened
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and i still get laughed at but it doesn't bother me
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i'm just so glad to hear laughter around me
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and i've already spent too much time
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doing things i didn't want to
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so if i want to drink alone dressed like a pirate
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or look like a dyke
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or wear high heels and lipstick
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or hide in a convent
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or try to be mayor
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or marry a writer
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smoke crack and slash tires
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make jokes you don't like
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or paint ducks and retire
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YOU CAN BET YOUR BLACK ASS THAT I'M GOING TO
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Amanda Palmer - ''The Truth'...' [includ...
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