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Baby
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Stephen Lynch
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1
This is for my little girl
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My lady gives birth today
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I run to her room right away
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She smiles with glee and hands her to me
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I look at my newborn and say
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Damn that's an ugly baby
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Damn that's an ugly ass baby
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I'm feeling quite concerned
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My semen must have turned
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'Cause damn that's an ugly baby
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I can't believe this came from me
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I think her mom did too much LSD
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she's skinny like a twig
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at least her nuts are big
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but the placenta is cuter than she
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Damn that's an ugly baby
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God damn that's an ugly ass baby
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I can't take her home today
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She'll scare the dog away
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'cause damn that's an ugly baby
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And when she smiles I find
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Shane McGowen comes to mind
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It makes me want to cry
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When I look into her good eye
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I always wanted kids
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Is it wrong to hope for SIDS?
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Then the doctor calls me in
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Mr. Lynch she has a twin
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Damn that's a good-lookin' baby
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One for two on the good lookin' babies
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I almost start to weep
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Now this one we can keep
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cause that was an ugly ass baby
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Damn that's an ugly baby (x4)
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She's got one good tooth and one ear and one eye
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And thank god just one nose but it's on her left thigh
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Now doctor I am asking you guy to guy
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Would a really really really late term abortion apply
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Oh no, I don't want no ugly baby
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I said damn that's an ugly ass baby
Stephen Lynch: Craig
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