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Black Stacey
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Saul Williams
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1
I used to hump my pillow at night.
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The type of silent prayer to help myself prepare for the light.
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Me and my cousin Duce would rank the girls between one and ten
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And the highest number got to be my pillows pretend.
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Now I apologize to every high ranker.
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But you taught me how to dream and so I also thank you.
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I never had the courage to approach you at school.
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We joked around a lot and I know you thought I dressed cool.
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But I was just covering up all the insecurities that came bubbling up.
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My complexion had
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Me stuck in an emotional rut, 'like the time you Flavor Flaved me and you called me
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"Yo Chuck, they say
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You're too black, man".
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I think I'm too black.
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Mom, do you think I'm too black? I think I'm too black.
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Black Stacey.
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They called me Black Stacey.
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I never got to be myself 'cause to
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Myself I always was Black Stacey, in polka dots
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And paisley, a double goose
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And bally shoes, you thought it wouldn't phase me.
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I was Black Stacey.
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The preachers' son from Haiti
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Who rhymed a lot and always got the dance steps at the party.
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I was Black Stacey.
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You thought it wouldn't phase me, but it did 'cause I was just a kid.
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I used to use bleaching creme, 'til Madame CJ Walker walked into my dreams.
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I dreamt of being white and
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Complimented by you, but the only shiny black thing that you liked was my shoes.
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Now, I apologize for bottling up
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All the little things you said that warped my head and my gut.
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Even though I always told you not to
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Brag about the fact that your great grand
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Mother was raped by her slave master. Yeah, I became
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Militant too.
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So it was clear on every level I was blacker than you.
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I turned you on to Malcolm X and
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Assata Shakur in my three quarter elephant goose with the fur.
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I had the high top fade
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With the steps on the side.
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I had the two finger ring, rag top on the ride.
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I had the sheep skin, name
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Belt, Lee suit, Kangol, acid wash Vasco, chicken and waffle.
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Black Stacey.
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They called me Black Stacey.
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I never got to be myself 'cause to myself I always was Black Stacey, in polka dots
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And paisley, a double goose and bally shoes, you thought it wouldn't phase me.
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I was Black Stacey. the preachers'
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Son from Haiti who
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Rhymed a lot and always got the dance steps at the party.
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I was Black Stacey.
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You thought it wouldn't phase me, but it did 'cause I was just a kid.
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Now here's a little
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Message for you.
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All you baller playa's got
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Some insecurities too, that you could cover up, bling it up, cash in
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And ching ching it up, hope no
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One will bring it up, lock it down and string it up.
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Or you can share your essence with us, 'cause everything about you couldn't be rugged
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And ruff.
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And even though you tote a
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Glock and you're hot on the
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Streets, if you dare to share your heart, we'll nod our heart to
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Its beat.
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And you should do that, if nothing else, to prove
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That a player like you could keep it honest and true. Don't mean to call your bluff but
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Mothafucka that's what I do.
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You got platinum chain
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Then, son, I'm probably talking to you.
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And you can call your gang, your posse and the rest of your crew.
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And while you're at it get them addicts and the indigent too. I plan to have a whole army
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By the time that I'm through to load their guns with songs they haven't sung.
Saul Williams - Black Stacey
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