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Commercial
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King Missile
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1
Lately, I've seen red, I've tasted blood
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I've killed with words, I've wished and hoped
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And swam through a river of snot
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Twice as wide as the mighty Mississippi
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But I wanna know about the commercial I saw on TV
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An Irish guy walking through a field of green
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Whistling one of those Irish jigs
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And a woman walks up and says
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"Manly yes, but I like it too"
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Then the guy pulls out a huge knife
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And cuts off his first two fingers
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And somehow catches them
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In what's left of his left hand
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And hands them to the woman
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Did I mention they're both dressed in green?
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They, they both sing this song together
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"Are ya icky? Are ya sticky?
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Are ya hot as anything?
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Hey, cut off two of your fingers
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And stab yourself in the eye"
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Then he stabs himself in the eye
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And hands her the knife
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And she stabs herself in the eye, okay? Okay?
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So what about that?
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Then they join arms and do this Irish folk dance
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While taking turns dismembering each other
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This was a commercial for deodorant, I think
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Or soap or something
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So now all the body parts are lying in a heap
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But the heads are still singing
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"Are ya icky? Are ya sticky?
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Are ya hot as anything?
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Hey, get away from summer
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And cut off all your limbs"
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Then all of the body parts
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Start hopping and bopping around like little bunny rats
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Then they jump into the mouths of the singing heads
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But then they just slip right back out
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Through the severed necks and keep bopping about
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It's very beautiful music that's playing
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There's an Irish flute and a mandolin, I think
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And the background singers sound
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Just like the Clancy brothers
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It's really a wonderful commercial
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Spectacular, it must of cost a fortune to make
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The kind of commercial you'd see
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During the Super Bowl, maybe
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Where the advertising time costs
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A million dollars a half a minute
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Wow, imagine that
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A million dollars for a half a minute
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Anyway, by the end of it
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It looks like the two of them have been through a juicer
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Or a food processor or a blender or something
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It's just a pink puree of blood
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Bone and flesh in a big bucket
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But it's still singing somehow
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"Are ya icky? Are ya sticky?
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Are ya hot as anything?
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Hey, blend yourself, process yourself
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Become a glass of animal juice"
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"Haven't you had enough
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Of fruit juices and vegetable juices?
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Next time company comes over
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Offer them a cool refreshing glass of yourself"
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"Give of yourself
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Stop being such a selfish piece of snot
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Okay? Okay? Okay
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And now, back to our program"
King Missile- Detachable Penis
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