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The Celestial Shuttle
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John Wesley Harding
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Not long ago I went through the gate of dreams
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I came to the famous City of Destruction
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Where now a shuttle runs to the Emerald City
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With air miles and big group reductions
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So I went to the ticket office where Evangelist sat
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And reserved seats through credit card calls
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I said ' How does it feel now they changed your job?'
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He said 'Now I don't feel anything at all'
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As we moved off I looked down on the Myre of Despair
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From a bridge that passed a thousand miles above
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Its legs were made of books that they'd thrown into the mud
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And the books were of philosophy and love
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As we reached the Hill of Difficulty, we waited for a climb
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They'd dug a tunnel through the center of the stone
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And with the excess rock, well the valley became landfill
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Where once you'd had to walk down there alone
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All aboard, all aboard the Celestial Shuttle
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For a journey free of care, for a journey free of trouble
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All aboard, all aboard the Celestial Shuttle
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For all those who seek the truth but don't have the time to get there
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Don't have the time to get there
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The train ride felt so smooth that I put my feet up
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Barely noticing the motion of the carriage
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The stewardess was Prudence with her sister Charity
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For fifteen grand they'd sell their hands in marriage
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And just as we were entering the Valley of Death
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I expected to be plunged into the darkness
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But the company had floodlit the underground gloom
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Taken care not to make this place seem joyless
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All aboard, all aboard the Celestial Shuttle
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For a journey free of care, for a journey free of trouble
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All aboard, all aboard the Celestial Shuttle
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For all those with the money, just tender up the fare
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Just tender up the fare
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It looked like we stopped at the mouth of Hell itself
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But they said it was a now-extinct volcano
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And if you'd seen the demons seemed to emanate from there
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You'd have taken the guidebook at its say so
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But some of my companions they would not get back in
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They'd heard that heaven it was vastly over-rated
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The weather here was warmer, and drinking was allowed
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And they thought they'd see us come back here much later
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All aboard, all aboard the Celestial Shuttle
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For a journey free of care, for a journey free of trouble
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All aboard, all aboard the Celestial Shuttle
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You could be home by now, if you lived there
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If you lived there
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After boarding no new passengers we went upon our way
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Past the place where Pope and Pagan ruled with terror
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But now the giant Scientology had eaten them for breakfast
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And bought all the property around her
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At a city called Vanity we stayed for the night
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Where one's every whim was catered for and sated
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The shuttle brought prosperity and business in its wake
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And an attitude that never gets outdated
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So all aboard, all aboard the Celestial Shuttle
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For a journey free of care, for a journey free of trouble
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All aboard, all aboard the Celestial Shuttle
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For all those seeing double, just tender up the fare
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Just tender up the fare
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So Charming was the city with its profitable fair
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The inhabitants claimed it was the only heaven
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And said that only dreamers ever venture beyond its gates
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And go to that land of Never-Never
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And in this city an education came without a school
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The shops sold one alongside praise and honor
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Reputations and honour went on sale at the fair
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And conscience could buy almost any of them
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All aboard, all aboard the Celestial Shuttle
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For a journey free of care, for a journey free of trouble
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All aboard, all aboard the Celestial Shuttle
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The most efficient way to go, it's the best way to get there
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It's the best way to get there
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And I stayed in the city, til I became like those
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Who lived there and abandoned their old questions
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Til I saw some pilgrims who'd walked the journey's length
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Standing at the edge of its dimensions
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'Friend let me tell you' said the Speaker to my ear
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'The whole concept of the shuttle is a Bubble
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You can pay the fare and travel for the rest of your life
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You'll never get anywhere but trouble
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Cos the train is only progress and it isn't a roundtrip
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And just in case the whole thing should explode
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The Lord of the Good City he will never let you in
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And he grants no kind of permit to the railroad'
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I got back on the train and my companions they were few
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My hopes with the suburbs disappearing
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We saw the Silver Mine and the Castle of Despair
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And we saw our destination it was nearing
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Saw the gates of that fair city, beyond a river lay
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A blinding light shone from the other side
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A ferry boat was waiting to carry us over
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It was built of paper and everybody died
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All aboard, all aboard the Celestial Shuttle
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For a journey free of care, for a journey free of trouble
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All aboard, all aboard the Celestial Shuttle
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For all those who want the truth but have no time to get there
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All aboard, all aboard the Celestial Shuttle
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Just say what you've got, we'll sell you a fare
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All aboard, all aboard the Celestial Shuttle
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We'll look after you so good that you won't wanna get there
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You won't wanna get there
Bob Dylan - John Wesley Harding (Officia...
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