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God's Own Drunk
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Jimmy Buffett
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1
Well, like to explain to you all before,
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I ain't no drinkin' man
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I tried it once and it got me highly irregular
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And I swore I'd never do it again
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I promised my brother in-law that I'd go up watch his still
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While he went in to town to vote
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It was right up on the mountain
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Where the map said it would be
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Friends let me tell you one thing,
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Though it wasn't no ordinary still
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It stood up on that mountainside
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Like a huge golden opal
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God's yeller moon shinin' on the cool clear evenin'
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God's little lanterns twinklin' on and off in the heavens
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Like I explain'd to you once before I ain't no drinkin' man
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But temptation got the best of me
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And I took a slash
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That yella whiskey runnin' down my throat
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Like honey dew vine water
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And I took another slash,
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Took another' an another' an another'
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For you knew I'd downed one whole jug of that shit
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And commenced to gettin' hot flashes
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Goose pimples was runnin' up and down my body
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And a feelin' came over me
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Like somethin' I'd never experienced before
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It was like, like I was in love
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In love for the first time, with anything that moved
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Animate, inanimate it didn't matter
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It's like there's a great neon sign flashin' on an' off
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In my brain sayin' "Jimmy Buffett there's a great day a comin'"
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'Cause I was drunk
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I wasn't knee crawlin', slip slidin', Reggie Youngin'
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Commode huggin' drunk
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I was God's own drunk and a fearless man
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And that's when I first saw the bear
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He was a Kodiak lookin' fella 'bout nineteen feet tall
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He rambled up over the hill
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Expectin' me to do one of two things,
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Flip or fly, I didn't do either one
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It hung him up
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He started sniffin' around my body tryin' to smell fear
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But he ain't gonna smell no fear 'cause
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I'm God's own drunk and a fearless man
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It hung him up
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He looked right in my eyes, and my eyes
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Was a lot redder than his was
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It hung him up
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So I approached him, I said "Mr. Bear, I love
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Every hair on your twenty-seven acre body
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I know you got a lot of friends over there
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On the other side of the hill
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There's ole' rare bear, tall bear, Freddy bear, Kelly bear
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Really bear, smelly the bear, smokey the bear,
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Pokey the bear
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I want you to go back over there tonight
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And tell them I'm feelin' right
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You tell them I love each and everyone of them
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Like a brother and a sister
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But if they give me any trouble tonight
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I'm gonna run every God damn one of them off the hill"
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He took two steps backwards and didn't know what to think
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Neither did I but bein' charitable and cautious
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Well hell I approached him again
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I said "Mr. Bear, You know in the eyes of the Lord
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We're both beasts when it comes right down to it
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So I want you to be my buddy, Buddy bear"
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So I took ole' buddy bear by his island size paw
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And I led him over to the still
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He's a sniffin' around that thing cause
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He's smellin' somethin' good
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I gave him one of them jugs of honey dew vine water
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He downed it up right
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Looked like one of them damn bears in the circus
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Sippin' sasparilly in the moonlight
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I gave him another' an another' an another'
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For I knew it he downed eight of them
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And commenced to doin' the bear dance
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Two snips, a snort, a fly turn, and a grunt
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It was so simple like the jitter bug
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It plum evaded me
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We worked ourselves into a tumultuous uproar
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And I was awful tired and went over to the hillside
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And I laid down and went to sleep
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Slept for four hours and dreampt me some tremulous dreams
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When I woke up, there was God's yeller moon
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Shinin' on the clear cool evenin'
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God's little lanterns twinklin' on and off
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In the heavens
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My buddy the bear was a missin'
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Want to know something else friends and neighbors
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So was that still
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