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Vegematic
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Steve Goodman
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VEGEMATIC
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by Steve Goodman
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Am Em Am E7 Am
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Fell asleep last night with the T-V on. Oh, what a dream I had.
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Am E E7
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I dreamed I answered every single one of those late night mail order ads.
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Am Em Am
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And four to six weeks later, much to my surprise,
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Am C Am E7 Am
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The mailman came to my front door, and I couldn't believe my eyes
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Am E7 Am
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When he brought the Vegematic, and the Pocket Fisherman too,
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Am C Am
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Illuminated illustrated history of life,
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E E7
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And Boxcar Willie with a Ginzu knife,
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Am E7 Am
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A bamboo steamer, and a Garden Weasel too,
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Am C Am E7 Am
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And a tie-dyed, dayglow souvenir shirt from Six Flags Over Burbank.
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Am E7
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The doorbell rang all morning and into the afternoon.
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Am Em Am E7 Am
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I shook with fright as it rang all night to the light of the Master Card moon.
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Am E7
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There was Parcel Post in the pantry, and UPS in the hall,
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Am C Am E7 Am
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C O D's to the ceiling, and I just couldn't pay for it all.
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I got the egg scrambler, with a Seal-a-Meal carrying case,
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A set of presidential commemorative plates
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So I could eat my eggs off the President's face,
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A Minute Mender, and a needle that'll knit or crochet,
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And an autographed photograph of Rin Tin Tin at Six Flags Over Burbank.
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(same chords as 2nd verse:)
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I remembered I was dreaming, so I gave a mighty cheer.
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When I awoke, it was no joke, 'cause all that shit was here.
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So if you fall asleep with the TV on, let me tell you what to do:
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Tear the telephone out of the wall unless you want it to happen to you.
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You'll get the Vegematic, and the Pocket Fisherman too,
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Illuminated illustrated history of life,
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And Boxcar Willie with a Ginzu knife,
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A bamboo steamer, and a smokeless ashtray too
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And an all expenses paid weekend for three at Six Flags Over Burbank.
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Steve Goodman Vegematic
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