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Dick
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King Missile
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1
Dick was obsessed with his dick.
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He would beat off at least three times a day:
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In the morning, when he woke up,
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Right after or right before dinner,
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Or right before he went to sleep.
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If he didn't get in his three daily beat-off sessions,
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He was a pain in the ass to be around.
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He jerked off to tv-
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Especially I Dream of Jenie and Dynasty and Charlie's Angels;
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He pulled his pud to porno books;
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He even jerked off
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To the underwear ads
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In the magazine section of the Sunday New York Times.
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If you were a girl, talking to him on the phone,
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Chances are he was beating his meat to the sound of your voice.
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'Cause coming was his raison d'etre.
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One time he was in the middle of jerking off to Vanna White on Wheel of Fortune
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When a job offer came to him over the phone
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And he needed the job bad
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But he told the man he'd call him right back,
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'Cause he needed to come more than he needed the job.
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It wasn't that he was ugly or afraid of women or anything like that
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He just honestly preferred his right hand.
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I saw him the other day,
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And he told me that last friday he was with two girls at their place
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And they both wanted him to stay over.
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But he went home,
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Called up another girl,
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and jacked off while talking to her.
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I don't know why he tells me this stuff.
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Dick's a fucked up guy.
King Missile - Detachable Penis
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