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Epilogue
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Antlers
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1
In a nightmare, I am falling from the ceiling into bed beside you.
2
You're asleep, I'm screaming, shoving you to try to wake you up.
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And like before, you've got no interest in the life you live when you're awake.
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Your dreams still follow storylines, like fictions you would make.
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So I lie down against your back, until we're both back in the hospital.
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But now it's not a cancer ward, we're sleeping in the morgue.
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Men and women in blue and white, they are singing all around you,
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with heavy shovels holding earth.
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You're being buried to you neck.
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In that hospital bed, being buried quite alive now.
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I'm trying to dig you out but all you want is to be buried there together.
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You're screaming,
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and cursing,
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and angry,
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and hurting me,
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and then smiling,
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and crying,
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apologizing.
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I've woken up, I'm in our bed, but there's no breathing body there beside me.
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Someone must have taken you while I was stuck asleep.
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But I know better as my eyes adjust.
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You've been gone for quite awhile now, and I don't work there in the hospital
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(they had to let me go.)
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When I try to move my arms sometimes, they weigh too much to lift.
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I think you buried me awake (my one and only parting gift.)
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But you return to me at night,
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just when I think I may have fallen asleep.
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Your face is up against mine,
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and I'm too terrified to speak.
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You're screaming,
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and cursing,
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and angry,
33
and hurting me,
34
and then smiling,
35
and crying,
36
apologizing.
The Antlers - Kettering (music video)
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