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The New Chanukah Song
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Adam Sandler
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1
Chanukah is the festival of lights
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Instead of one day of presents
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We get eight crazy nights
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So when you feel like the only kid in town
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Without a Christmas tree
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Here's a new list of people who are Jewish
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Just like you and me
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Winona Ryder drinks Manachevett's wine
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Then spins a dreidel with Ralph Lauren and Calvin Klein
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Guess who gives and receives loads of Chanukah toys
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The girls from Veruca Salt and all three Beastie Boys
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Lenny Kravits is half Jewish
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Courtney Love is half, too
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Put them together
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What a funky, bad-ass Jew!
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We got Harvey Keitel
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And flash dancer Jennifer Bill
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Yasmine Bleeth from Baywatch is Jewish
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And, yes, her boobs are real
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Put on that yarmulke
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It's time for Chanukah
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Two time Oscar winner Dustin Hoffmonica celebrates Chanukah
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OJ Simpson, still not a Jew
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But guess who is
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The guy who does the voice for Scooby Doo
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Bob Dylon was born a Jew
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Then he wasn't, but now he's back
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Mary Tyler Moore's husband is Jewish
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'Cause we're pretty good in the sack
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Guess who got barmitzvahhed on the PGA Tour
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No, I'm not talking about Tiger Woods
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I'm talking about Mr. Happy Gilmore
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So many Jews are in the showbiz
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Bruce Springstein isn't Jewish
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But my mother thinks he is
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Tell that ho Lamonica
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It's time to celebrate Chanukah
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It's not pronounced CH-anukah
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The C is silent in Chanukah
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So read your hooked on phonica
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Get drunk in Tiajuanica
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If you really, really wannaca
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Have a happy, happy, happy, happy, Chanukah
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Hapyy Chanukah!
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