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Leo’s Toltoy
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TISM
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1
Please let me introduce myself, I'm a man of wealth and taste-
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But just like that first line, my ideas all come from another place.
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I'm gonna tell you a story, the main character? - well, it's me,
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And it all starts way back when I was in grade three.
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I had the block's biggest marble collection; no, that's a lie -
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My neighbor Johnny had swapped three Jumbos for my one cat's eye,
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Then he told me that Jumbos were no longer the rage;
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Which shows I was a fashion victim even back at that age.
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Anyway, I remember, it was the second week of term two,
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And just like normal I brought my marble bag to school;
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But imagine the shock and horror! for, behind my back,
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Everyone else in the playground had brought along click-clacks!
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How was it? By some mysterious mutual chemistry
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They all knew click-clacks were in! No one ever told me!
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How was it that, in the space of one otherwise normal night,
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everyone came to school the next day, not a marble bag in sight!
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And now I'm in a rock band, and everything's the same;
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Just when I'm honing my line in tortured artistic pain
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You find out that tortured poetry ain't no longer the thing -
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Now everyone's playing Cajun - Zydico - whatever you call that thing.
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I go off and buy the records, learn how to cook Jumbulya -
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Then everyone's dropping Ecstasy; the dance clubs are on fire -
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I start talking about Louisiana, everyone tells me to stop:
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Just like the coming of click-clacks comes something called Hip-Hop.
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Shakespearean plays are the quintessential expression of human tragedy -
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Can't understand them myself, but that's what my friends tell me -
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Anyway, the only genuine thought I've ever been able to expound
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Is that the world ain't a stage, it's a primary school play ground,
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And that some people are like the kids who knew when to stop
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Playing games like Ker-Plunk, and get into Battling Tops;
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Then there's people like me, who always seem to find
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That after we've bought our baseball jackets, we've been left behind.
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I've come to understand that it's just like musical chairs,
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When it's groovy to say "groovy" and O.K. to wear flares:
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So the final piece of advice I give is that you should all beware,
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'Cos when you're in the jungle, watch it: it's a playground out there.
PET WITH THE TISM (OFFICIAL MUSIC VIDEO)...
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