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Beelz
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Stephen Lynch
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1
Ever since first man has walked this earth I have been here
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to whisper seeds of doubt and evil thoughts into his ear
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I am the beast, the outcast angel fallen from on high
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I go by many names, but there is one you can't deny--
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My name is Satan!
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Hi everybody! Let me tell you a little bit about myself!
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My friends all call me Old Scratch and I am a Capricorn
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My turn-ons are romantic walks and killing the unborn
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I've got little devil horns and a little goatee
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Little devil eyes to help a little devil see
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and little cloven hooves that make it kind of hard to ski
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I'm Satan!
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My real name is Beelzebub, but you can call me Beelz
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I love to watch Fox News and then go club some baby seals
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Then I'll take a bubble bath and drink a zinfadel
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Try to wash off that baby seal smell
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And then I'll make a toast to me--hey, here's to my health!
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My name is Satan!
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To carry on my evil ways I went and had a son
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And now he makes his living as a singing comedian
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I'm in every Zeppelin album; I'm in all Rush Limbaugh's rants
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I'm the reason that the Boston Red Sox even had a chance
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And if I wanna eat your soul I'll just throw it on the griddle
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I don't need to make a deal, I don't need to tell a riddle
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And fuck Charlie Daniels, I don't care if he can fiddle
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I'm Satan!
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"Devil went down to Georgia; he was looking for a soul to steal..."
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Which is fucking bullshit because I would not be caught dead in Georgia...
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666
Stephen Lynch - Special Ed
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