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Crazy Rap
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Afroman
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1
Wait a minute man
2
Ay check this out man
3
It was this blind man, right?
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Man check this
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It was this blind man, right?
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He was feelin'
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His way down the street
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With this stick, right?
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Ay, he walked past
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This fish market
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You know what I'm sayin'?
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He stopped, he took
13
A deep breath, he said
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Woo, good morning ladies
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You like that shit man?
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Ay, I got a gang of that shit, man
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I tell you what
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My man on the guitar
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Ay, fool on the drums
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Everybody just crowd
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'Round the mic
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I tell you all these
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Motherfuckin' jokes I got man
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So first I'm gonna
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Start it off like this
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Help me sing it home boy, come on
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Said colt 45 and two zig-zags
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Baby that's all we need
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We can go to the park after
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Dark smoke that tumbleweed
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As the marijuana burn
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We can take our turn
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Singin' them dirty rap songs
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Stop and hit the bong
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Like Cheech and Chong
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It still takes
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From here to Hong Kong
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So roll, roll, roll my joint
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Pick out the seeds and stems
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Feelin' high as hell
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Flyin' through Palm Dell
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Skatin' on datin' rims
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So roll, roll the 83
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Cadallac Coupe Caville
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If my tapes and
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My cds just don't sell
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I bet my Cavy will
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Well it was just sundown
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In a small white town
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They call it eastside Palm Dell
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When the Afro Man walked
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Through the white land
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Houses went up for sale
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Well I was standin' on
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The corner sellin' rap cd's
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When I met a little girl named Jan
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I let her ride in my Caddy
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'Cause I didn't know
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Her daddy was the leader
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Of the Ku Klux Klan
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We fucked on the bed
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Fucked on the flo'
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Fucked so long
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I grew a fuckin' afro
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Then I fucked to the left
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Fucked to the right
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She sucked my dick
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Till the shit turned white
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I thought to myself
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Sheeba sheeba got my
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As* lookin' like a zebra
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I put on my clothes
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And I was on my way
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Until her daddy
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Pulled up in a Chevrolet
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So I ran, I jumped
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Out the back window
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But her daddy, he was
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Waitin' with a two-by-fo'
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Oh, he beat me to the left
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He beat me to the right
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The motherfucker
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Whooped my as* all night
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But I ain't mad
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At her prejudice dad
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That's the best
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Damn pussy I ever had
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Got a bad of weed
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And a bottle o' wine
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I'm a fuck that bitch
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Just one more time
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Colt 45 and two zig-zags
93
Baby that's all we need
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We can go to the park
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After dark smoke
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That tumbleweed
97
And as the marijuana burn
98
We can take our turn
99
Singin' them dirty rap songs
100
Stop and hit the bong
101
Like Cheech and Chong
102
It still takes
103
From here to Hong Kong
104
So roll, roll, roll my joint
105
Pick out the seeds and stems
106
Feelin' high as hell
107
Flyin' through Palm Dell
108
Skatin' on datin' rims
109
So roll, roll the 83
110
Cadallac Coupe Caville
111
If my tapes and
112
My cds just don't sell
113
I bet my Cavy will
114
I met this lady in Hollywood
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She had green hair but
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Damn she looked good
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I took her to my house
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'Cause she was fine
119
But she whooped out a dick
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That was bigger than mine
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I met this lady from Japan
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Never made love
123
With an African
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I fucked her once
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I fucked her twice
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I ate that pussy
127
Like shrimp fried rice
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Don't be amazed
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At the stories I tell ya
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I met a woman in
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The heart of Australia
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Had a big butt and big titties, too
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So I hopped in
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Her as* like a kangaroo
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See I met this woman from Hawaii
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Stuck it in her as*
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And she said I E
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Lips was breakfast
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Pussy was lunch
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Then her titties busted open
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With Hawaiin punch
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Met Colonel Sanders wife
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In the state of Kentucky
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She said I'll fry some chicken
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If you just fuck me
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I came in her mouth
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It was a crisis
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I gave her my secret blend
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Of herbs and spices
150
Colt 45 and two zig-zags
151
Baby that's all we need
152
We can go to the park
153
After dark smoke
154
That tumbleweed
155
And as the marijuana burn
156
We can take our turn
157
Singin' them dirty rap songs
158
Stop and hit the bong
159
Like Cheech and Chong
160
It still takes
161
From here to Hong Kong
162
I met Dolly Parton in Tennessee
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Her titties were
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Filled with hennessy
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That country music
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Really drove me crazy
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But I rode that as*
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And said "Yes, Miss Daisy"
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Met this lady in Oklahoma
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Put that pussy in a coma
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Met this lady in Michigan
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I can't wait till
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I fuck that bitch again
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Met a real black girl
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Down in South Carolina
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Fucked her till she
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Turned into a white albina
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Fucked this hooker in Iowa
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I fucked her on credit
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So I owe her
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Fucked this girl down in Georgia
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Came in her mouth
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Now I thought I told ya
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Met this beautiful s*** ho
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She just ran 'cross
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The border of Mexico
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Fine young thang
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Said her name's Maria
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I wrapped her up
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Just like a hot tortilla
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I wanna get married
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But I can't afford it
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I know I'm a cry
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When she get deported
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Colt 45 and two zig-zags
196
Baby that's all we need
197
We can go to the park
198
After dark smoke
199
That tumbleweed
200
As the marijuana burn
201
We can take our turn
202
Singin' them dirty rap songs
203
Stop and hit the bong
204
Like Cheech and Chong
205
It still take
206
Ffrom here to Hong Kong
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Have you ever went
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Ova' a girl's house to fuck
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But the pussy
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Just ain't no good?
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(Say what)
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I mean you gettin' upset
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'Cause you can't get her wet
214
Plus you in
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The wrong neighbourhood
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So you try to play it off
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And eat the pussy
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But it take her
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So long to c**
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Then a dude walk in
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That's her big boyfriend
222
And he asks you
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Where you from
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(Where you from homey?)
225
So you wipe your mouth
226
And you try to explain
227
(I don't bang)
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You start talkin' real fast
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(I don't bang)
230
But he already mad
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'Cause you fuckin' his wife
232
So he start beatin' on yo' as*
233
Now ya clothes all muddy
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Ya nose all bloody
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Your dick was hard
236
But now it's soft (what)
237
You thought you had
238
To girl to rock your world
239
Now you still gotta go jack off
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Said Colt 45 and
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Two Zig Zags
242
Baby that's all we need
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We can go to
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The park after dark
245
Smoke that tumbleweed
246
(Fades)
Afroman - Crazy Rap (Colt 45 & 2 Zig Zag...
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