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In The End
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Peter Hammill
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I promise you, I won't leave a clue:
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no tell-tale remark, no print from my shoe.
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Still a steady trail to the water's edge -
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I will keep my pledge to the end;
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I intend to go free
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No more rushing around, no more travelling chess;
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I guess I'd better sit down, you know I do need the rest...
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Yes, it's time to resign with equanimity and placidity
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from the game.
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I can't explain;
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I can't relate...
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Have I done it all too late?
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Now is the time for the commission to report;
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till lately, I thought: I'd been planted.
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Trying hard to make it all come real,
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permission to feel is ungranted.
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But, now it's happening, I'd like to keep it private if I can;
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last words, last look, make a final stand.
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Now my number's come up on the Pools,
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guess I'll board Titanic for a cruise...
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Now is the time to make my status clear,
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too late, I fear, and lonely,
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as friends and enemies traverse the stage,
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all in a rage disown me.
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And all the pip-props shatter into dust about my ears;
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memory and conscience, hope and fear.
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As I crawl out further on the limb
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something tells me I am crawling in
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to unknown prophecies and lives -
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the rainbow's end is hemmed around with knives...
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As I stand on the boards and the stage lights grow dim,
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shall I go out of doors, or shall I maybe go in?
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Have I reached the point when I should take my cue
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and follow you and your signs?
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I can't remember my line
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at the prompter cat calls
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and the cards all fall
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in the strike
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All the pages are thin, all the corners are curled.
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Does the starshine fall in through my window on the world?
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or am I living our (the seeds of doubt) a chronicle of revenge?
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The willow bends
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as do my hands -
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do your understand?
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And will you still be my friend in the end?
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......... When my mouth falls slack
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and I can't summon up another tune,
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shall I then look back and say
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I did it all
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too soon
Peter Hammill 1973 - In The End
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