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Only Human
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Joe Budden
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1
[Intro: Child's voice]
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Mic check, mic check
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One two, one two
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New Joe Budden!
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[Bridge: Joe Budden]
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Uhh
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Please somebody help my soul (x4)
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Talk to 'em (talk to 'em)
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[Verse 1: Joe Budden]
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I let the man have a talk with the beast in me
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I'm holdin' onto my last bit of decency
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I need a vacay, a change of scenery
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But mama said wherever I'mma go, I'm taking me with me
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I told her shit is on my mind and it's been eatin' me
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She got me pissin' in a cup, she don't believe in me
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It's not the drugs that got me out of my zone
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Goin' days without eatin', in a crowd I feel alone, mama
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Then she ask why it seems I never sleep at night
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I told her when I close my eyes my brain just keeps the fight
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She say my friends wanna have an intervention with me
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I speak to niggas daily that was never mentioned to me
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She told me there's a higher power and a lower power
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And that I'll die if I don't find the strength to overpower
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Then I replied, "well aren't we all"?
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She said "yeah, but that should be on God's terms, not yours"
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[Hook: Emmany]
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My every thought is scary
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And it makes it hard to breathe again
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Like I'm blinded while I'm starin' in the mirror
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Askin' God to help me see again, please help me
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But He tells me I'm only human
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And that I'll be on my feet again, please help me
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But they act like I'm more than human
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I prove that I'm wrong again
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Don't fault me I'm only human
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[Verse 2: Joe Budden]
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Tryin' to weather the storm
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I thought that black cloud was gone
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It's been beside me all along, not the song
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I wanna sit in silence, don't speak for a minute
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Tired of being strong, please let me be weak for a minute
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Kinda thought that my disease tried to kill your man first
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It was easy to get my hands on 30 milligram Percs, worse
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Can't be depression, couldn't have it this long
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So many secrets I only told through a glass of Patron, my nigga
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Speakin' of secrets, that's when I got the Kaylintext
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Read it and cried, couldn't believe what she was sayin' next
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She said "you're goin' through a lot
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I'm hopin' you ain't in the grave and dead
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Cause not too many people know your brains a mess"
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Who knew that she was keepin' track of it all?
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I wrote back "lol" but wasn't laughin' at all
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I ain't tell her just the other day that that gun was in my lap
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Pen and pad as in my hand, and I was writin' a note
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Didn't get far, as soon as I wrote down "mom" I just stopped
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Couldn't lie to her, couldn't figure out how to say bye to her
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Couldn't explain the "why" to her
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Couldn't picture her gettin' a call or somebody sayin' her son had died to her
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And shortly after that my pastor called
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Which at first I kinda thought it was weird
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But that convo preserved me, 'bout God's grace and mercy
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He ain't even say goodbye, he said "let us pray"
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And then he went into a prayer, gripped the phone, closed my eyes
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Just so happy he appeared nigga shed another tear
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Maybe he could sense that somethin' had [?]
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Just thankful he shed some light upon my darkest hour
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All my thoughts are corrupt, this shit is whack
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If everybody calls you a duck, will you just quack?
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Guess a part of me really gives a fuck, way in the back
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When I had that burner ready to bust, I didn't clap
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Joe
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[Hook:]
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[Verse 3:]
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Guess I'm insanity's definition
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Tryin' to step over in sanity's repetition
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But I can't it got me trippin'
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Whatever love we had was dead that night
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Lookin' back, we both needed cooler heads that night
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Was goin' off no sleep, eyes red that night
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While you was drunk textin' me, I hope I read that right
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You was beefin' 'bout Giselle, beefin' bout Alexa
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Suddenly you was jealous, musta thought that I had sexed her
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I was laughin', thought it was funny
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Giselle's my homie, Alexa's twenty
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With hip withdrawals
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Nothin' 'bout your story shoulda been stickin' at all
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I wouldn't bicker at all
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I'm guessin' you were insecure and never knew me
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Was there for four months, yet you said this was a new me
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In your head, guess the answer to this jealousy
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Was to turn around and try to make me jealous, B
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But the part that you neglect
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Was never mind jealousy, this was 'bout respect
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Y'all Instagrammin' pictures, tryin' to get me upset
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You turned it into a night we both would never forget
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We both said some things we both probably regret
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You was lyin' to my face and them dots didn't connect, but cool
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Only picked you up to try and talk sense into you
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Now I'm fuckin' homeboy up, just off the principle
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I guess he caught him self antagonizin' me
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But he's a young nigga, that's no surprisin' me
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Shit I done fucked some of the baddest hoes
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I left shorty weeks ago, you can have this ho
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I guess the part where I lose
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Is now they got my face plastered all over the news, I'm being falsely accused
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And I don't understand, was this all part of a plan?
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I guess I'll tell the whole truth when on the stand
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How you go and tell the cops I had guns in my house?
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Now they got a search warrant, just to come to my house
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Question: were your feelings worth takin' my tomorrow's, kid?
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And you know Jersey gun laws, I'm talkin' hollow tips
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So you can tell them niggas you roll with whatever you want
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But you and I know what's goin' on
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Nigga that whole night just replays in my mind
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Your face is fine, this is a big waste of time
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Let's get back to that jealousy
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Now you got a nigga facin' three felonies
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All for what, cause we were no longer dealin'
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You attack me, but I'm the villain, over a fuckin' iPhone and feelings
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Check, you never see me act like a jerk
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I know women would provoke you and get mad when it works
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Rather reserved and that always makes matters the worst
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As I go on about my business and not act like it hurts, but wait
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So now the whole world is watchin' me get burned here
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Which is fine, there's a lesson to be learned here
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Which is only fuck with strippers and the bartenders
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Anytime there's a pole in the bar centered
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So even though it's from afar now
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I still wish you the best, I know your heart's tender
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I'm sorry all, I just got my own scars to tend to
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Signin' off, truly yours, with love, God's son
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[Hook:] (x2)
Joe Budden - OLS4
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