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You Can't Rap
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1
You can't rap, my friend, you're white and you're from Fulham
2
Please put down the mic, there's no way you can fool them
3
Don't be stupid, you wont get that far
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Turn your back on Hip Hop, bro, and go and play guitar
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Of all the possibilities I ever coulda chosen
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Supposing career wise I'd picked Hip Hop
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Imagine all the tip top rapper's bottom lips drop
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Sitting there shocked that some other bloody shit hot
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Dude with a mullet, bussin shorts, wearing flip flops
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Is spitting to a gathering looking like a criss cross
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Of fans loving Prodigy, Kylie and Slipknot
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Nearly coulda happened bro, look at me, I shit not
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Little Elliot rhymes for the hell of it
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If only he was ghetto mans, maybe we would sell a bit
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I tried hard to dig up the credentials
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Even thought about putting gold in my dentals
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An Anglo Saxon with a broken accent
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But rappers from Fulham get a strange reaction
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I said bye to Rap, saw the issue at hand
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Some guitar lessons later, formed my own band
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You can't rap, my friend, you're white and you're from Fulham
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Please put down the mic, there's no way you can fool them
23
Don't be stupid, you wont get that far
24
Turn your back on Hip Hop, bro, and go and play guitar
25
Attention seeking, how far should a man go?
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Cut his ear off like Vincent Van Gogh
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Dash cash to the crowd so the venue scrambles
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Turn my good life into a baby shambles
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Fuck myself up real properly like Pete Doherty
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Cover of heat, I'm hot property
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Everybody's clocking me, I own the crowd
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Then I gotta link me up with a girls aloud
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Next, exchange vows now my pop's is proud
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There's a nine on my cloud, I'm as pleased as I ever been, bro
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Mans flash like Jose Mourinho
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Women crave me like bottles of pinot
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Now I've got big I can fight photographers
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Bang the obvious, please biographers
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Spend currency 'til there ain't none left
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And when I need more I'll fake my own death
41
You can't rap, my friend, you're white and you're from Fulham
42
Please put down the mic, there's no way you can fool them
43
Don't be stupid, you wont get that far
44
Turn your back on Hip Hop, bro, and go and play guitar
45
Right now it's just hit and miss, soon I'll taste a bit of bliss
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Banging chicks at worst with looks like Jayne Middlemiss
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Never doing hideous, it's too bad for business
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I spin when they grin with skin like Darth Sidious
49
Never out-riddle this, all chattin' gibberish
50
Verbal diarrhea so you're never getting rid of this
51
I hear your retorts, there's all sorts like liquorice
52
I can sense your bitterness, you wishing you written this
53
You can't rap, my friend, you're white and you're from Fulham
54
Please put down the mic, there's no way you can fool them
55
Don't be stupid, you wont get that far
56
Turn your back on Hip Hop, bro, and go and play guitar
Eminem - Not Afraid
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