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I Have a Special Plan for This World
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When everyone you have ever loved is finally gone
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When everything you have ever wanted is finally done with
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When all of your nightmares are for a time obscured
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As by a shining brainless beacon
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Or a blinding eclipse of the many terrible shapes of this world
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When you are calm and joyful
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And finally entirely alone
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Then in a great new darkness
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You will finally execute your special plan
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One needs to have a plan someone said who was turned away into the shadows
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And who I had believed was sleeping or dead
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Imagine he said all the flesh that is eaten
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The teeth tearing into it
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The tongue tasting its savour
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And the hunger for that taste
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Now take away that flesh he said
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Take away the teeth and the tongue
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The taste and the hunger
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Take away everything as it is
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That was my plan
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My own special plan for this world
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I listened to these words and yet I did not wonder
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If this creature whom I had thought sleeping or dead would ever approach his vision
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Even in his deepest dreams
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Or his most lasting death
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Because I had heard of such plans such visions
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And I knew they did not see far enough
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But what was demanded in a way of a plan
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Needed to go beyond tongue and teeth and hunger and flesh
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Beyond the bones and the very dust of bones and the wind that would come to blow the dust away
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And so I began to envision a darkness that was long before the dark of night
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And a strangely shining light
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That owed nothing to the light of day
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That day may seem like other days
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Once more we feel the tiny legged trepidations
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Once more we are mangled by a great grinding fear
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But that day will have no others after
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No more worlds like this will follow
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Because I have a plan
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A very special plan
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No more worlds like this
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No more days like that
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There are but four ways to die a sardonic spirit might have said to me
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There is dying that occurs relatively suddenly
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There is dying that occurs relatively gradually
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There is dying that occurs relatively painlessly
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There is the death that is full of pain
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Thus by various means they are combined
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The sudden and the gradual
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The painless and the painful
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To yield but four ways to die
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And there are no others
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Even after the voice stopped speaking
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I listened for it to speak again
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After hours and day and years have passed
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I listened for some further words
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Yet all I heard were the faintest echoes reminding me
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There are no others
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There are no others
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Was it then that I began to conceive for this world
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A special plan?
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There are no means for escaping this world
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It penetrates even into your sleep
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And is his substance
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You are caught in your own dreaming
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Where there is no space
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And a hell forever where there is no time
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You can't do nothing you aren't told to do
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There is no hope for escape from this dream
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That was never yours
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The very words you speak are only its very words
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And you talk like a traitor
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Under its incessant torture
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There are many who have designs upon this world
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And dream of wild and vast reformations
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I have heard them talking in their sleep
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Of elegant mutations
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And cunning annihilations
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I have heard them whispering in the corners of crooked houses
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And in the alleys and narrow back streets of this crooked creaking universe
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Which they with their new designs were made straight and sound
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But each of these new and ill conceived designs
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Is deranged in its heart
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For they see this world as if it were alone and original
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And not as only one of count with others
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Whose nightmares all precede
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Like a hideous garden grown from a single seed
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I have heard these dreamers talking in their sleep
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And I stand waiting for them
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As at the top of a darkened flight of stairs
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They know nothing of me
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And none of the secrets of my special plan
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While I know every crooked creaking step of theirs
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It was the voice of someone who was waiting in the shadows
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Who was looking at the moon and waiting for me to turn the corner
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And enter a narrow street
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And stand with him in the dull glaze of moonlight
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Then he said to me
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He whispered
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That my plan was misconceived
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That my special plan for this world was a terrible mistake
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Because, he said, there is nothing to do and there is no where to go
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There is nothing to be and there is no one to know
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Your plan is a mistake, he repeated
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This world is a mistake, I replied
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The children always followed him
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When they saw him hopping by
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A funny walk
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A funny man
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A funny, funny, funny man
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He made them laugh sometimes
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He made them laugh oh yes he did
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He did he did he did he did
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Oh how he made them roll
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One day he took them to a place
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He knew a special place
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And told them things about this world
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This funny, funny, funny world
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Which made them laugh sometimes
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He made them laugh oh yes he did
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He did he did he did he did
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Oh how he made them roll
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Then the funny man who made them laugh
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Sometimes he did
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Revealed to them his special plan
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His very special funny plan
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Knowing they would understand
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And maybe laugh sometimes
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He made them laugh
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Oh yes he did
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He did he did he did he did
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Their eyes grew wide beneath there lids
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And how he made them roll
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I first learned the facts from a lunatic
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In a dark and quiet room that smelled of stale time and space
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There are no people
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Nothing at all like that
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The human phenomenon is but the sum of densely coiled layers of illusion
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Each of which winds itself upon the supreme insanity
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But there are persons of any kind
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When all that can be is mindless mirrors
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Laughing and screaming as they parade about
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In an endless dream
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But when I asked the lunatic what it was
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It swore itself within these mirrors
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As they marched endlessly in stale time and space
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He only looked and smiled
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Then he laughed and screamed
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And in his black and empty eyes
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I saw for a moment as in a mirror
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A form the shade of divinity
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In flight from its stale infinity
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Of time and space and the worst of all
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Of this world dreams
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My special plan for the laughter
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And the screams
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We went to see some little show
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That was staged in an old shed
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Past the edge of town
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And in its beginnings all seemed well
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The miniature curtain stage glowed in the darkness
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While those dolls bounced along on their strings before our eyes
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And in its beginnings all seemed well
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But then there came a suttle turning point which some have noticed
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And I was one
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Who quietly left the show
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No I did not
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Because I could see where things were going
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As the antics of those dolls grew strange
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And the fragile strings grew taut
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With their tiny pullings, tiny limbs
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The others around me became appalled
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And turned away and abandoned the show
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That was staged in an old shed
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Past the edge of town
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But I wanted to witness what could never be
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I wanted to see what could not be seen
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But the moment of consummate disaster
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My puppets turned to face the puppet master
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It was twilight and I stood in a greyish haze of the vast empty building
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When the silence was enriched by a reverberant voice
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All the things of this world it said
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Are of but one essence
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For which there are no words
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This is the greater part which has no beginning or end
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And the one essence of this world for which there can be no words
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Is that all the things of this world
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This is the lesser part which had a beginning and shall have an end
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And for which words were conceived solely to speak of
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The tiny broken beings of this world it said
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The beginnings and endings of this world it said
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For which words were conceived solely to speak of
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Now remove these words and what remains it asks me
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As I stood in the twilight of that vast empty building
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But I did not answer
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The question echoed over and over
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But I remained silent until the echoes died
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And as twilight passed into the evening I felt my
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Special plan for which there are no words
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Moving towards a greater darkness
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There are some who have no voices
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Or none that will ever speak
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Because of the things they know about this world
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And the things they feel about this world
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Because the thoughts that fill a brain
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That is a damaged brain
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Because the pain that fills a body
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That is a damaged body
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Exists in other worlds
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Countless other worlds
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Each of which stands alone in an infinite empty blackness
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For which no words are being conceived
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And where no voices are able to speak
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When a brain is filled only with damaged thoughts
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When a damaged body is filled only with pain
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And stands alone in a world surrounded by infinite empty blackness
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And exists in a world for which there is no special plan
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When everyone you have ever loved is finally gone
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When everything you have ever wanted is finally done with
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When all of your nightmares are for a time obscured
221
As by a shining brainless beacon
222
Or a blinding eclipse of the many terrible shapes of this world
223
When you are calm and joyful
224
And finally entirely alone
225
Then in a great new darkness
226
You will finally execute your special plan
Current 93 - I Have a Special Plan for T...
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