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Teenage Love On The Phone
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Adam Sandler
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Richie: "So ya doin' good?"
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Samantha: "Ya, I'm fine, how 'bout you?"
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Richie: "How good could I be? I haven't seen you in three hours."
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Samantha: "Ohhh, Richie. Hey Richie, my dad's down the hall, and he
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doesn't want me on the
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phone. So if I hang up on you, it's just because he's coming."
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Richie: "Ok. So look, uh, do you wanna meet at the Spring Fling Dance
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thi..."
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[She hangs up phone]
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[Phone rings]
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Richie: "Hello?"
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Samantha: "Sorry, I thought he was coming."
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Richie: "That's ok. So, about the dance. Do you wanna meet
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Samantha: "Umm, well my brother gets the car on Friday nights."
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Richie: "Well that's ok, I'll come by and get you. Lets say around..."
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[She hangs up phone]
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Richie: "Come on.."
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[Phone rings]
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Richie: "Hey."
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Samantha: "Sorry. I guess he was just going to the bathroom."
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Richie: "That's ok. Well look, uh.. what was I saying? Oh yeah, should I
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pick you up at like
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seven-thirty or maybe do you wanna go later when the dance is really
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kickin.."
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[She hangs up the phone again]
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Richie: "Give me a break..."
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[Phone rings]
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Richie: "Hello."
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Samantha: "Sorry. It was just my dog."
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Richie: "Hey, what's your dad's problem anyways!? Why can't we talk?"
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Samantha: "He just thinks I'm on the phone too much. Oh my God, uh, I
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gotta go."
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Richie: "Don't hang up!"
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Samantha: "Richie, I can't talk!"
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Richie: "No, I'm sick of this! Put your dad on the phone! I wanna talk
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to him."
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Samantha: "It's not my dad."
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Richie: "What? Well, who's there? Why can't you talk?"
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Samantha: "Uh, just look Richie, someone is here."
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Richie: "Who's there? Is it a guy!?"
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Samantha: "Richie!"
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Richie: "I knew it! I'll kill him! Put him on the phone!"
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Samantha: "oh.. it's just.. hold on."
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[Hands phone to guy]
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Richie: "Hey man! What the hell are you doing there!? Samantha's my
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girl!
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You'd better stay away from her or I'll make you wish you were never
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born!"
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Buffoon: "Fuckin' shit!"
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Richie: "Yeah, fuckin' shit is right buddy! Don't think I'm kidding
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around, man! I'm crazy! I'll
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smash your head in! I swear to God!"
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Buffoon: "One time I saw my Grandmother in the shower. Her bush starts
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above her belly
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button."
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Richie: "Yeah, well that's too bad! But I'm still gonna come over there
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and beat your face in!"
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[Richie slams down phone]
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Samantha: "What happened? Was he mad?"
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Buffoon: "My neighbor's dog has a four inch clit!"
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Samantha: "Oh Buffoon, you're the coolest." [Whispering] "I love you..."
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