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Nostalgia
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Rittz
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First time I ever set eyes on you it was love at first sight
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You was so young, your mom told me that she got a son, and you were the love of her life
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As time went on, me and you bonded
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I fathered you, I was so proud to be a dad
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We were so broke, I promised you that one day I would get rid of the problems we had
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I hope you accept my apology
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All the fights and the drunk nights that you saw in the past
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You never chose sides, we were so sad
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But when it came to happiness you're all we really had, you're an angel
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So happy-go-lucky, such a good soul, words can't express
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You had a gift of making people fall in love with you
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You affected every single person you met
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And we ain't have much, we spoiled you to death
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Anything you wanted you can have, I still laugh
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Think about the holiday when you snuck
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And ate a whole cheesecake we ain't even get mad that's your favorite
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We was so stressed out, we were about to lose the house that we stayed in
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I was trying to be a rapper, we could've moved in my parents basement but couldn't bring you
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Really you're the one that made me quit trying to rap
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So I went and got a job so that we could get a house, I'd do anything for you
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You, me, and your mom moved with your grandma
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It was us three stuck in a little room
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Finally had a place to play outside, I would love to see you run, like a dream coming true
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I was riding in my car to some tracks one day, played this beat, started thinking of you and now I'm
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Looking in my rear view
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Wishing I was near you
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It's quiet here without ya
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And I've been thinking about ya
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Feeling of nostalgia
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I hated my job, I loved coming home
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I would lay in bed with you for hours on end
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Me and your mom were obsessed with you
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Cause you were momma's baby boy, and daddy's best friend
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But daddy ain't been, home a lot lately
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To play with, I tried to set you down and explain
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That I got a new job, that I wanted all my life, and that everything might possibly change
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That I'ma have to go out of town for some months but when I'm home, I'ma be around every day
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And when I'm gone I'ma need you to look out for your mom, keep her company while daddy's away
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Your momma sends pics of you and her in bed
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I would feel bad thinking that you thought I left
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But I was saving bread so we could finally have our own place
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Live a life that we should've always had
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And I did that
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Now you're spoiled even more cause instead of being cramped now you got your own room
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Your mom quit her job, and you and her could chill every day
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For the most part, I'd be home too
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And life is looking bright, used to see it so blue
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We finally were content, had a daily routine
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I made a bunch of songs with your name in them
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I would come into your room, hugging you and I would sing
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You were always treated like a king
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Cause you were everything that mattered to us and I would hate to see your cute face crying
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Cause you knew that I was leaving for a tour
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Always hated when I go and grab that red suitcase out the closet
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You'd look at me and say you promise, you stayed by your mom when I'm gone
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I'll be back in a couple of months, give me kisses I'll be missing you a ton
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Homesick every time I'm
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Looking in my rear view
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Wishing I was near you
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It's quiet here without ya
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And I've been thinking about ya
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Feeling of nostalgia
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You grew up so fast, but you always had a baby face so it's hard for me to tell
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You were sick on and off
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We were just rough-housing on the bed, good to see you getting well
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I had to go to Omaha for a show, but your mom called me up and told me that you slipped and fell
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But you were limping, we figured that you twisted something and had to give it time to tell
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I got home and you were breathing funny and your hip was big as hell
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Your momma said that she began to see it swell
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This morning, this isn't normal, we took him to the doctor
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We thought he might of broke his hip bone and it would heal
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It's crazy how life change in an instant
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The doctor walked in with his x-rays
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Said he thought he broke his hip, but he didn't
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He got bad news and there ain't no way to fix it, what is it?
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He said the x-rays showed bone cancer was spreading through his legs in a crazy position
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The amputation, the chemo, wasn't a option
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He probably ain't gon make it to Christmas, I blacked out
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Cause Christmas is like three weeks away
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When I left he was okay, now your telling me he's gonna die?
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He said he's strong so he's gonna fight
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Eventually you're gonna have to put him down whenever y'all decide
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Please God, not a dog, we're in shock, not our son, he's the only thing we got, we was done
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It'd be different if we knew that he was suffering for months, but he's limping
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How the fuck is it that nothing can be done?
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Tried to comfort him as much as we could
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Drug his mattress - down the stairs to the center of the living room
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Me and his mom laid with him every night
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Petting him while he was crying, you could tell the pain was getting to him
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And me and her in disbelief, all we did was cry, all we did was scream
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Struggling to try, we'd take him outside, but he could barely walk
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And every day it seems, it's spreading even more
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The medicine we fed him isn't doing anything and we just can't accept it that our boy
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The most important thing is dying right in front of us
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Like how much do we let him suffer til we go and make the choice
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We were laying on the floor almost twenty days
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He ain't eating anymore, he can't move his legs
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It's December 21st, I think it's time for us to let him go so we can send him to a better place
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It's been several weeks, me and your mom still grieving feeling like we in denial
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I go in your bedroom every day, smell the air
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Start to cry for a while, then I smile thinking bout ya
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Looking in my rear view
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Wishing I was near you
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We're crying here without ya
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We're dying here without ya
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Feeling of nostalgia
Nostalgia
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