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Hotel Can't Afford Ya
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ApologetiX
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(This is a parody of Hotel California by The Eagles)
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From a dark desert highway we pulled into the inn
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Rome called for a census, I was from Bethlehem
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Up above from a distance a star was giving me light
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My wife was heavy ‘cause her child was due
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We had to stop for the night
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So I stood in the doorway of Bethlehem hotel
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And I was thinking to myself "I hope to heaven they'll give me some help"
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But they told us no-can-do and they sent me away
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"There's a place around the corner though where you both can stay"
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Welcome, but the hotel can't afford ya
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Such a lovely place but we're out of space
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Ran out of room and the hotel can't afford ya
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It's the time of year with the census here
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My wife was definitely gifted, that's what the Lord's angel said
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She was about to have a baby boy while still virgin
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Spent the night in the barnyard, cheap slumlord's rent
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Some night to remember, some night to forget
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So because of what happened I was grieving for my wife
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I said "They probably haven't cleaned in here since B.C. 65"
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Animal voices were calling for straw and hay
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Keeping you up through the middle of the night just as if to say…
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Welcome, but the hotel can't afford ya
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Such a lovely place, but we're out of space
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Holiday rush and the hotel can't afford ya
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What a nice surprise for your silent night
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He was born that evening and shepherds came that night
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And they said "We're all just visitors here of the Holy Christ"
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And in an ass's manger, they found the boy asleep
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They started getting teary eyed so they went back to their sheep
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Last thing I remember there were wise men at the door
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They had a bunch of packages from the place they were before
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"We're late," said the wise men "We had problems Christmas Eve
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We've been checking out your shiny light all through the Middle East"
"Hotel Can't Afford Ya" ~Apologetix
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