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Boxman
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1
So let me tell you how this all came to be
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I'm doing this here rap for your safety
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So all you kids don't mess up like me
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And be disowned by your family
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So check it, this is how it all began
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I was chillin', eating some raisin bran
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I decided it was time to get a tan
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So I grabbed my scissors and then I ran
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I forgot my house was two stories tall
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I missed the first step and began to fall
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What happened next, I could not recall
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I was impaled by the scissors and thats not all
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I thought I could get some help on the street
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I got run over by a fucking jeep
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The rest of this mess I will not repeat
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To help keep your lunch, I've been discrete
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He's the boxman
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I woke up in a strange location
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Some dirty bum had an explination
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Apparently he had no education
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He turned my body into an abomination
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He said he found me on the road nearly dead
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It was necessary he fix my torso and my head
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He had no human parts so he used a box instead
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The news was so overwhelming that I fled
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He's the boxman
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It's hard to live with a body of cardboard
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You'd think with this cute smile I'd be adored
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But since the accident I've always been ignored
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I trust one day that my hope will be restored
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I'd like to meet a girl who likes me for me
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But of course no girl likes a guy made of tree
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I got so desperate that I cry and I plea
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I'd even take a fat girl to a tolerable degree
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I guess it ain't that bad to be a box like me
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Hey, at least I ain't Mary-Kate or Ashley
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If I ever want to travel across the sea
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I disguise myself as a package and fly for free
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Well the moral of the story is airfare's expensive as hell
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So that's the end of my tale, so long and farewell
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He's the boxman
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