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You Can\'t Rap
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1
You can't rap my friend you're white and you're from Fulham
2
Please put down the mic there's no way you can fool them
3
Don't be stupid you wont get that far
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Turn your back on Hip Hop bruv and go and play guitar
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Of all the possibilities I ever coulda chosen
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Supposing career wise I'd picked hip hop
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Imagine all the tip top rappers' bottom lips drop
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Sittin there shocked that some other bloody shit hot
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Dude with a mullet, bussin shorts wearing flip flops
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Is spittin to a gathering lookin like a criss cross
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Of fans lovin Prodigy, Kylie and Slipknot
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Nearly coulda happened bruv, look at me I shit not
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Little Elliot, rhymes for the hell-of-it
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If only he was ghetto mans maybe we would sell-a-bit
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I tried hard to dig up the credentials
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Even thought about putting gold in my dentals
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An Anglo-Saxon with a broken accent
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But rapper's from Fulham get a strange reaction
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So I said bye to rap, saw the issue at hand
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Some guitar lessons later, formed my own band
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Chorus
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Attention Seeking - how far should a man go?
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Cut his ear off like Vincent Van Gogh?
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Dash cash to the crowd so the venue scrambles
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Turn my good life into a Babyshambles?
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Fuck myself up real properly, like Pete Doherty
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Cover of Heat I'm hot property
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Everybody's clockin' me I own the crowd
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Now I gotta link me up with a Girls Aloud
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Next exchange vows now my pops is proud
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There's a nine on my cloud I'm as pleased -
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As I ever been bro, mans flash like Jose Mourinho
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Women crave me like bottles of Pinot
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Now I've got big I can fight photographers
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Bang the obvious, please biographers
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Spend currency til there aint none left
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And when I need more I'll fake my own death
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Chorus
39
Right now it's just hit and miss, soon I'll taste a bit of bliss
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Bangin chicks at worst with looks like Jayne Middlemiss
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Never doin' hideous, it's too bad for busi-ness
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I spin when they grin with skin like Darth Sidious
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Never out-riddle this, you're all chattin gibberish
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Verbal Diarrhoea so you're never getting rid of this
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I hear your retorts there's All Sorts like liquorice
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I can sense your bitterness, you wishin' you written this
How the different generations hear this ...
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