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Halftime
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Dan Bull
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1
[Intro]
2
Look at me!
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Dan Bull in your area
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My neck has never been hairier
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[Verse 1]
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All work and no play makes Dan a dull man
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So I took business and pleasure, and had them hold hands
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I monetise my hobbies, I like computer games
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Rap music, anime to making up stupid names
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Now I can work sixteen hours a day
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And have sixteen hours of play
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Hop in the shower and straight to bed
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I make the competition shake their head
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Like a wet dog in disbelief seeing what they can get
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But come the best at the thing you love best
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And the rest is elementary, umm yes, unless
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You fail to put the work in, shirking
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Jerking yer gherkin then derpin', you're undeserving
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Put in the effort and see, how little effort you need
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To achieve things effortlessly
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It's halftime
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[Hook]
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It's halftime
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Put the kettle on
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It's hafltime
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Put the kettle on
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[Verse 2]
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I bang the beat like a cattle drum
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I quit weed when the nettle stung
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But I'll never settle some
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Blast with a special tongue
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I want to rap on every record spun
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And set a record for the rapper with the sexiest bum
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Is there anyone better? Man, I reckon there's none
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But [?] genetically, I'm rapping my mum
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That's where I get my creativity from
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She done brung up a son well, didn't she, chum?
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When she discovered a bun in the oven, things changed
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Quit her career to rerun[?] this kid, raised
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Him to be creative, gave him instruments to play with
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And pen and paper he could lyrically slay with
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I know I say the word 'lyrically' too much
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But that's just because I'm lyrically too much
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I never keep my privileges subdued, hush
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I'm not flossin', I didn't bring my toothbrush
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I'm ruthless, like a convertible
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Spectacularly secular, you're not convertable
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I do my work in full while I'm on the doll
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In adversity, I'm the first to be the one to fold
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But I still picked a university, I didn't like it
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Spending time alone learning this is my shit
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I'm a lone ranger that'll occasionally collaborate
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And grab a taste of books and open on a random page
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I hate to stand on stage, I'm not a spectacle
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My view on me is that perform is unrespectable
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So I sit at home, building up my text of walls
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I've never scratched a deck, I sit and scratch my testicles
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Best of all, I can work in my underpants
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The last boss I did that to denied another chance
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I was out on my own, the way I like it
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Spending time alone, learning this is my shit
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[Hook]
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It's halftime
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Put the kettle on
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It's halftime
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Put the kettle on
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[Verse 3]
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Knock, knock! Who's there?
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It's only Daniel Bull
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That funny rapper with the cracking in his mandible
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Maybe I'm becoming Jaws, is that woman yours?
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I'm not predatory but she possesses stunning [?]
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Ask your mother: is it sons-in-law or son-in-laws
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I'm not bothered, I just want to rummage in her drawers
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There's something in her form that makes me cuddly and warm
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A fuzzy feeling in between my knees, I want to be adored
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Hah! I'm the Ian Brown of rap, I like the sound of that
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I'm the reason that they put my friggin' town on maps
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So unless you pubs got some Nut Brown on tab
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It's not particularly likely I'll be out my flat
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I'll be at home working, putting the work in
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I'm covering another thing, I'm like a merkin
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That's urban for stealing the show
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I'm so sorry Nastradamus for stealing your flow
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I'm really feeling it though, it's exceedingly dope
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But even so, I'm eager for a wee, I need to go
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[Outro]
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It's still halftime
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To the Severn Bridge
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To the people responsible for the maintenance of the Severn Bridge
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It's still there; you must be doing alright
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It's halftime
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