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The Piano Has Been Drinking
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Tom Waits
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1
The piano has been drinking
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my necktie is asleep
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and the combo went back to New York
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the jukebox has to take a leak
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and the carpet needs a haircut
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and the spotlight looks like a prison break
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cause the telephone's out of cigarettes
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and the balcony's on the make
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and the piano has been drinking
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the piano has been drinking...
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and the menus are all freezing
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and the lightman's blind in one eye
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and he can't see out of the other
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and the piano-tuner's got a hearing aid
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and he showed up with his mother
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and the piano has been drinking
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the piano has been drinking
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cause the bouncer is a Sumo wrestler
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cream puff casper milk toast
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and the owner is a mental midget
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with the I.Q. of a fencepost
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cause the piano has been drinking
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the piano has been drinking...
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and you can't find your waitress
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with a Geiger counter
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And she hates you and your friends
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and you just can't get served
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without her
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and the box-office is drooling
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and the bar stools are on fire
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and the newspapers were fooling
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and the ash-trays have retired
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the piano has been drinking
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the piano has been drinking
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The piano has been drinking
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not me, not me, not me, not me, not me
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