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Signing Emo
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MC Lars
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1
Once upon a time, in the city of Los Angeles...
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"Marty, Marty listen to me. Bring me something the kids will cry for.
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Get out there, and get us stoked!"
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Meet Marty, major label A&R scout, forty years old, gut hanginh out.
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Red Ferrari, Marty livinh in L.A. bumps another line to get through the day.
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Dumped by his girl, he paid for her liposuction,
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His friends call him "Money", in his introduction.
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And Marty knows nothing but claims to know it all,
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Lose the flat screen TV if he drops the ball.
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You're as good as your last hit, find the next big thing.
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If he doesn't bring the bling, his cell phone won't ring.
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What's the trend, what's new? What's a label scout to do? Office life, Marty 11:32.
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The label pres. calls and yells, "Sign more emo!"
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How about screamo? "If it sells, sign Nemo,"
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"We're down 2%, and BMG knows,
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My Daughter likes Dashboard, so get me one of those!"
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He checks AP.net, the Scout and more,
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yelling band names to his assistant through the door.
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The kids like this, who cares if it's great?
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So he signs a band called Hearts that Hate.
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"Marty... we've got a hit."
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CHORUS
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Cry tonight. My hands around your hands.
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I won't let you die tonight.
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Cry tonight. My heart's in your hands.
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I won't let you...
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Hearts that Hate, Marty goes to their show, up in the club and here we go.
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Marty sees a girl in a Simple Plan shirt with a Senses Fail boy, that'll never work.
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He finds his label friends in the corner they huddle,
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An emo cattle auction, they penetrate the bubble.
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They talk about Victory and signing TBS,
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Dissing the same bands they just tried to impress.
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So the lights go down, the crowd starts to scream,
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Hearts that Hate have hit the scene.
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Blake on vocals, and lead guitar,
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He does a backflip, "Look how different we are!"
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They show up at the studio to record it,
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A TRL, Billboard Modern Rock hit.
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They auto-tune Blake, but he can't tell.
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He says, "I've got perfect pitch, damn I sing well."
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ProTools, Logic, cut, copy, paste, quantized solos and quantized bass.
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Signed, sealed, deliver and sent, across the U.S. and the single went...
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[REPEAT CHORUS]
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Momentum builds, but it all caves in.
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Industrial comes back, the pres. needs a NIN.
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Marty finds a new band called "Fetal Coil"
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And Hearts that Hate try to keep their fans loyal.
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They re-work their sound for album number two,
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As "Machines of Hate," but their career is through.
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They break up and work pushing mops and brooms,
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Blake gives guitar lessons in his living room.
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Blake gives guitar lessons in his living room,
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Blake gives guitar lessons in his living room.
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"Can you teach me track five Mr. Blake?"
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"Hey, I wrote that song and it goes like this!"
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[REPEAT CHORUS]
MC Lars - This Gigantic Robot Kills (Mus...
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