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Monica Interview
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Chris Rock
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1
Thanks for the interview Monica
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Now Monica everyone seems to think they know ALL there is to know
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About Monica Lewinsky but Monica could you tell us one thing
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That people would be surprised to know about you?
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"I used to be scared of the dick; now I throw lips to the shit
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Handle it like a real bitch.."
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Very interesting! Now Monica, there seems to be a lot of demands
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On your time. Could you tell us what a quiet evening with
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Monica Lewinsky would be like?
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"Got buffoons eatin my pussy while I watch cartoons.."
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Hmm, sounds like fun!
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Now Monica, who were your role models?
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"Zsa Zsa Gabor, Demi Moore, Prince Diane and all them rich bitches.."
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Now in the transcript, you refer to the President as Butthead
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Did the President have any nicknames for you?
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"Poon-poon nanny-nanny, punanni danni.."
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Ahh, cute!
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Now Monica, you and the President had a lot of phone sex.
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What was the one thing that you would say to the President
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That would make him achieve orgasm?
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"Before you nut, I'ma dribble down your buttcheek
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Make you wiggle, then giggle just a little.."
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Now Vernon Jordan helped you get a job
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What's the first thing you said when you met Vernon Jordan?
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"It's on nigga what? Pussy greased up
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Stack the G's up, keeps the knees up.."
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So are you saying you had an affair with Vernon Jordan too?
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"I made my intro, gettin fucked in the Pinto.."
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Monica you appear to be having sex with everybody
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How do the interns treat you?
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"They be suckin blackberry molasses out my asses.."
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Now now that we're on it, how come you never had sex with Al Gore?
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"I got no patience for little dick tastin.."
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What about Ken Starr?
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"He be lookin fruity, but you still can eat the booty.."
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Now Monica, do you have any regrets about your relationship
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With the President?
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"Somethin I wanted, but I never was pushy
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The motherfucker never ate my pussy.."
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Hey, here's the President right now, Bill Clinton!
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Now Mr. President, before we go,
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Is there anything you'd like to say to Monica Lewinsky?
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"Bitch shut the fuck up!
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Get the fuck out of here!"
Chris Rock - How not to get your ass kic...
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