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Adelaide's Lament
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Barbra Streisand
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[From "Guys And Dolls"]
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The average unmarried female
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Basic'lly insecure
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Due to some long frustration
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May react
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With psychosomatic symptoms
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Difficult to endure
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Affecting the upper respiratory tract
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In other words,
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Just from waiting around
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For that little band of gold
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A person can develop a cold
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You can spray her wherever you figure
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The streptococci lurk
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You can give her a shot
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For whatever she's got
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But it just won't work
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If she's tired of getting the fish-eye
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From the hotel clerk
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A person
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Can develop a cold
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The female remaining single
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Just in the legal sense
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Shows a neurotic tendency
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See note:
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Note: Chronic organic syndromes
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Toxic and hypertense
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Involving the eye,
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The ear and the nose and throat
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In other words,
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Just from worrying
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Whether the wedding is on or off,
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A person
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Can develop a cough
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You can feed her all day
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With the Vitamin A
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And the Bromo Fizz
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But the medicine never
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Gets anywhere near
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Where the trouble is
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If she's getting a kind
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Of name for herself
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And the name ain't "his"
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A person
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Can develop a cough
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And further more
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Just from stalling
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And stalling and stalling
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The wedding trip
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A person
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Can develop La grippe
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When they get on a train
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For Niag'ra
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And she can hear church bells chime
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The compartment is air conditioned
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And the mood sublime
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Then they get off at Saratoga
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For the fourteenth time
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A person
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Can develop La grippe
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La grippe, La post nasal drip
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With the wheezes
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And the sneezes
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And a sinus that's really a pip!
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For a lack of community property
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And a feeling she's getting too old
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A person
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Can develop
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A bad, bad cold!
Barbra Streisand - Don't Lie to Me (Offi...
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