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You Are Old, Father William
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They Might Be Giants
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1
"You are old, Father William," the young man said
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"And your hair has become very white
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And yet you incessantly stand on your head
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Do you think, at your age, it is right?"
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"In my youth," Father William replied to his son
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"I feared it might injure the brain
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But now that I'm perfectly sure I have none
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Why, I do it again and again
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"I am old
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I am old
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I will tell you again
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I am old"
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"You are old," said the youth, "as I mentioned before
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And have grown most uncommonly fat
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Yet you turned a back-somersault in at the door
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Pray, what is the reason of that?"
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"In my youth," said the sage, as he shook his gray locks
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"I kept all my limbs very supple
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By the use of this ointment, one shilling a box
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Allow me to sell you a couple?
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"I am old
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I am old
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It's a statement, in fact
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I am old"
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"You are old," said the youth, "and your jaws are too weak
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For anything tougher than suet
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Yet you finish the goose, with the bones and the beak
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Pray, how did you manage to do it?"
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"In my youth," said his father, "I took to the law
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And argued each case with my wife
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And the muscular strength which it gave to my jaw
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Has lasted the rest of my life
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"I am old
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I am old
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There's not much more to say
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I am old"
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"You are old," said the youth, "one would hardly suppose
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That your eye was as steady as ever
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Yet you balanced an eel on the end of your nose
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What made you so awfully clever?"
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"I have answered three questions, and that is enough"
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Said his father, "don't give yourself airs!
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Do you think I can listen all day to such stuff?
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Be off or I'll kick you downstairs
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"Downstairs
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Downstairs
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Be off or I'll kick you downstairs!"
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