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Calm Down Baby
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Mac Lethal
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1
[Intro:]
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This is for anyone wishing they could do their entire life over:
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Quit sulking, you fucking pussy
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Yeah yeah yeah, clown on my accent all you want
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I'll whoop your cat's ass. I'll whoop your grandmothers ass
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I'll whoop your sisters ass. I'll whoop your ass
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I'll beat your moms ass. I'll kick your ass
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[Verse 1:]
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It's the anti-socialite not-so-christian
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That'll talk more shit than bitter and old women
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On puny ass rappers with little-to-no rhythm
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Fuck veganism give me some General Tso's Chicken
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I write weird songs that got hooks like Journey
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And if I grew my hair out I'd probably look like Fergie
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But I'd never tinkle in my pants while I was on stage
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Cause I was potty trained when I was four years of age
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I think a lot of people these days are bitches
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I also think that emo and emotional are different
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But more so I hate white girls that talk like
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"Aww hell no, girl I'm gettin' this shit crunk.
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You know what I'm sayin'?"
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I'm not jokin', it's nothing but bark, I feel lost
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Can't remember where the fuck that I parked
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The world is gray and blue but what skates me through
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Is knowing that I have a better music taste than you
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I used to like Tool until they made the same album
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That they made the last time they made the same album
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Every time they make a damn album it's the same album, really
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And only stoners listen to their music, it's silly
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I still think the Deftones are dope
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And I like Nick Drake on the days I wanna let go of hope
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Wilco is great and Ice-T is still clever
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And no matter what it's ALWAYS Wu-Tang Forever
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[Chorus: x2]
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Calm down baby
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Don't you talk because
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Calm down baby
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Don't you talk because
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I don't need lovin' and I don't need help
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I'd rather ride in the car by my goddamn self
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[Verse 2:]
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I'm 25 I started rapping as a sophomore
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In those days I'd hide my cigarettes in my sock drawer
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Until I heard my mom snorin' sleeping on the green couch
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And then I'd secretively sneak out
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My first taste of heartbreak was at the park late one summer night
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I had a big crush on a girl named Sarah
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I was gonna ask her out until I saw Tim Phillips kissing her grabbing her butt
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Asshole!
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I was madder than FUCK and walked home
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Oh, Tim Phillips smells like Cool Water cologne
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Well fuck him, his Mustang and all his other friends
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I vowed I would never love again
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And since then I've dated but fuck that I can't give nothin'
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I'd rather sail alone than have my damn ship sunken
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Being single's par for the course
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I don't wanna cause a marriage
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Cause I don't wanna cause a divorce
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It's probably important and it's better for health
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Besides, I get the whole damn bed to myself
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But what the hell everybody yells for me to drop down my guard
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No! this heart of mine's for me, it's locked down and it's scarred
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Go home, I don't need me a wife, I'm happily single for life
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Alright?
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My name is Mac Sheldon I'm a fire-sign Leo
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Alcoholic, anti-mall, anti-hero
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Anti-soccer mom, anti-hipster
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Pro-eating Captain Crunch cereal for dinner
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Pro-taking bong hits to cure your depression
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And pro-demo CD
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If you got one let me check it
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But never ask me what the hell I'm laughing about
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See ya later
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I'm a go take a nap on the couch, alright?
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[Chorus: x2]
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Calm down baby
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Don't you talk because
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Calm down baby
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Don't you talk because
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I don't need lovin' and I don't need help
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I'd rather ride in the car by my goddamn self
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[Outro:]
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Gee, Mac... what are we gonna do about this Kansan accent of yours?
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Well, self, since you're asking in the third person
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We're gonna fuckin' keep it!
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Because it makes us pretty... and unique... and beautiful. Like birds!
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I'll whoop your mother's ass
Mac Lethal - Calm Down Baby (Official Vi...
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