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5 Years To Write
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John Reuben
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1
This vulnerability is killing me internally
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Not feeling much stability and I wish it could be easy
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But it don't seem to be and so
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I'm going to take it to the only place that I know to go
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And lay these feelings in the hand of the creator
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God of creation you show me how to relate to her
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Mean while, I'm thanking you for lessons being learned
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See my feelings have been shallow but I've watched my heart turn
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Yes, she looks good, yes she looks fly
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But deep down I know there's something more inside
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Just like I'm praying that there's more in me
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So when I look at she I just don't see naturally
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Not saying physically, that I'll deny the attraction
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But all in all that's just a simple satisfaction
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That can be obtained through a glance of the eye
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This was five years ago, man how time flies by
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Beautiful soul full of spirit
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I wonder if she'd hear it if I told her that she had a
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Beautiful soul full of spirit
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A few year later
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Her mind intrigues me
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It leaves me sort of sick
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Wondering what makes the mystery chic tick, history thick of pages and pages
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Telling stories that can't be summed up in quick phrases
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She's observant so she's seen my behavior
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It's got me nervous wanting to stay away from her
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I pray for her daily as well as perspective,
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Battling with pride and thoughts of being rejected and that's just not appealing
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It's almost enough to make you disconnect your feelings or something
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And try to move on and give them to someone else
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But yet I care for her more than I care for myself
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Man who needs this
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I'm not even good with commitments
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Plus I value my independence, in the end it's probably
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Just a waste of time spent or maybe
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There's something more to this relationship
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What's the point of caring when it hurts so much
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If this is what love comes with I'd rather not touch it
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In all honesty the outcome is uncertain
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And I do run the risk of walking away hurting
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Searching for clarity, spare me the despair
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I'd rather be alone and not even care
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Than to share my trust because you can't control
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Fate so maybe I'll be alone but at least it's safe
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I know that's stupid
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Probably my insecurity
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Or maybe god is using this to get through to me
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Because in the back of my mind
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I'm always aware of pushing me towards prayer and bettering my character
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Making me thing about the man I want
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To become regardless of the situations outcome
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Fast forward a few years into my life
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Man this song about my wife took me five years to write
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