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Dear El-Pee
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"Dear El-Pee,
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How's your summer been? Mine's been fine. I heard you had a real good time at
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camp. Oh, yeah, I talked Len, he said everything's cool. Oh, yo, I really liked
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"End to End Burner"; that little diss me thing on the internet was pretty
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funny. Yeah, it's live, sucker. Uh, yeah, and I was talking, y'know, trying to
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sell my record distributors and they wouldn't take it because, you know, some
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fat white kid was thinkin' it'd be funny to blackball. Well, you know, I wrote
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a little poem about it and I really hope you like it. So have your mother read
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it to you and if you guys like it, you can write me back!"
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I'm a Anticon iconclast catalyst for cataclysm
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Tell Fox: dissing Sole, bad executive decision
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Your egosystem's frail, with a spoon I could dissect it
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Soundin' like Corky got his nubs on a Webster's dictionary
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A Ras Kass record and a brand new MPC
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Pressing all them pretty buttons, making wack beats
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To hell with Fat Beats, I'd rather rock acapella
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I'd rather be broke and have a whole lot resent
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Not a Rich King, a pawn, a peon for me to pee on
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Check out 9th Street, a big sign: "El-Pee got served" in neon
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Trendy indie underground cause you haven't got a choice
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Take a way your elitist buddies and you haven't got a voice
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No five thousand for radio, no hundred-thou for ads and banners
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No paying record stores for all your Rawkus propaganda
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Well-timed marketing scheme, it's cool to be independent
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But if it was last year, you'd be a dun or a Missy Elliot
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And after your indie bravado and the label has recouped
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You're broker than when Libra left you crying for a record deal from Luke
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I strike you awestruck, you femanine to blackball
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I'll be serving you 'til you're serving me ice cream in a mall
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Some fool said this an underground Canibus and LL
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Well that's comedy, cause I'll serve all three of y'all
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Heard Rupert had to starve all the indie artists to feed your ego
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Running around the Bay looking for Sole with your foot in your mouth
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I heard you like the Bay (Castro) but think 4 tracks are wack
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Lost in the Ozone and all your mixdowns sound like crap
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Hiding lack of intellect behind hipster catch phrase and babble
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Indellibles'll never get a full length cause you don't wanna be outshined
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Fine, I heard you wanna kill me and get fools after me
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The only violence you ever witnessed was on Menace II Society
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Try to sound deep and got masses fooled by your lack of rhythm
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I elevate while you perpetuate your malopropism
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[Yo, wha, what did he just call me, dun?]
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Yo, I don't know, man. Yo, I, I don't know what he just called you, man.
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[Well, yo, go get the books. Go get the Bible.]
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Yo, man, well apparently you must've ripped all the pages out in the
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dictionary, man, cause you've used all the words.
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[So I'm never gonna find out what he called me? He's usin' big words against
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me? Yo, this is intrepid, god!]
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I'm a hip hop artist, you style-biting MC sucker
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Had a Crayon contest with retarted kids and picked the wackest album cover
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Picked the wrong MC to diss subliminally, every line dissected
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Yeah, I diss you on the internet, to your face, and on record
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For the record, I know the muck from which out you have stepped
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First you sound like Beatnuts then you're Mr. 4,000 syllables
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One bar, out of breath on stage a failure
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Gotta quit rocking mics and start rocking an asthma inhaler
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El-Producto: indepenent as Fox
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Since when do indie records show up in a WEA box?
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By saying you're indepenent you belittle the whole movement
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Real MCs work hard, ain't got investors to put out their music
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Underground conspiracy but this ain't used by No Limit
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Mad cause you didn't blow up, the victim of your own wack gimmick
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But some fools bought into it cause they don't know no better
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That you're a hamburger pimp, only out for the cheddar
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Yo, what's a battle MC that can't freestyle?
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All these references to imaginary MCs, come battle me
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Remember in Boston, you started calling fools out?
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And when MCs try to battle, you were the first to break out
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Well, you surely don't wanna battle, of course you want to fight, you're bigger
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Fine, you win, we can have a contest to see who's the biggest wigger
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Oh, you win again, it must feel great, I heard you don't like white MCs
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Traded in your Kani and X hats for a fresh set of Echo and Adidas
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You as hip hop as Garth Brooks and as manly as garter belts
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And if you're so creative talk about something other than yourself
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No, I'm not dissing New York or any of your comrads in arms
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I'm tearing down that posterboy Miss Piggy-lookin' leprachaun
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El-Pee vs. the Spice Girls (I got five on Scary Spice)
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But both of y'all are in desperate need of back up singers when it's live
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And I know they think your original, but follow me through this portal
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You bit your whole styles from an underground MC named Vordul
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Spread rumors about me to everyone you meet, evade being a man
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I heard you putting out an instumental album of sitars, pots, and pans
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You've done enough talking, so I know you ain't fading Sole
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Have your boy Rupert Murdoch fly you out, I'll serve you on the Wake Up Show
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The redheaded kingpin, step child to a little herpe sore festering
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Heard you only pull females when you tell 'em you're a lesbian
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Wanna sign autographs, but all your fans are rappers
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The evolution will not be televised as your #1 fan becomes your master
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I'd love to give you a hand but all I got is a middle finger
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Farakhan won't squash this, so we can finish it on Jerry Springer
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Newsweek martyr, bring your rhetoric retort
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You oughta tootsie roll under your rock, your two minutes of fame got cut short
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FYI: starving artists don't have corporate luncheons
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Got a horrible freeestyle and the rest of your style is (studio punch-ins)
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The dun crusher busts fresh, overly when I blast 'em
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And those so called freestyles, they all popped up on your album
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Manipulate your connects so they wanna see me on a curb
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But I guarantee you lyin', cause you know one-on-one you'd get served
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Now it's time to pay dues like when Daddy Warbucks
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Bought your face onto the cover of the last Stress
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We gonna battle, so write your rhymes ahead of time
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And I'll still come twice as fresh
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And keep it all in the family, like Rose I'll take a back seat
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Keep my name out your mouth like my wax from the racks of (Fat Beats)
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Fat egos inflated, hope you liked my little poem
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And hope to hear from you soon, signed, your friend, Sole
THE FILTER WAS SUPPOSED TO BE ON ME NOT ...
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