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When You're Dead
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Voltaire
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1
The other day I took a walk because the air was sweet
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When I passed the crusty house of a curmedgeon on my street
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Now, every town has got one
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So I'm sure you'll understand
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When I tell you this old bastard
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Is a mean and bitter man
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Now this day it was special I was wearing my new hat
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The old curmedgeon saw this and he disaproved of that
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He said "Iv'e had one just like it for 10 years ya ripped me off!
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You got no right to wear a hat like mine so take it off! "
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Now as it happens, I'm a gentleman so I approached his porch
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I told him "Great minds think alike and you got one of course
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So how 'bout I just tip my hat to you when I come through? "
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He reached down for his gun and said "I'll shoot ya if ya do!"
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And I said "No one is gonna cry at your funeral
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No one is gonna drink at your wake
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No one is gonna sigh with a tear in their eye
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Cause no one is gonna miss ya when you're dead! "
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Well the next day I forgot this whole damn mess and went to town
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And there I saw a hundred or so posters all around
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On them was my face and I was wearing my new hat
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And they read "This guy ripped me off I got one just like that!"
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I took a walk down to his house to see if I could find
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A way to show him that we're kindred spirits of the mind
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I said "I didn't make these hats. Nor did you of course!
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And hey, we both love Johnny Cash! "
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He said "GET OFF MY PORCH!"
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And I said "No one is gonna cry at your funeral
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No one is gonna drink at your wake
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No one is gonna sigh with a tear in their eye
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Cause no one is gonna miss ya when you're dead! "
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When you look back on your life what will you see?
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Did you spend your time mending fences or planting mines?
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There's no shortage of potential enemies
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So don't waste so much time pushing away your kind
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I thought I must be stupid or just crazy from the heat
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When I went down to the house of that curmedgeon on my street
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Maybe it was foolish to go to his house again
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Just to show some crazy drunken fool he had a friend
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When I got there, much to my surprise, he wasn't there
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He was gone as was his shotgun and his rocking chair
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I asked the neighbor lady who was laying on her lawn
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"Hey, What happened to that mean old man?"
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She shrugged and that was all
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And I said "No one is gonna cry at your funeral
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No one is gonna drink at your wake
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No one is gonna sigh with a tear in their eye
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Cause no one is gonna miss ya... Hell no one's gonna notice
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And I'll enjoy the silence! When... You're... Dead! "
Land of The Dead (Fan Animated)
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