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Half A Man
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Stephen Lynch
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1
All my days
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I live with my disgrace
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I'm afraid to show my face
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Or at least take off my underwear
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See I was born
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Like a half way neutered pet
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I don't have a matching set
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It's a part of me
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That just aint there
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Please, don't stare
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Well I'm a gambling man with out two dice
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I'm like Uncle Ben with only one grain of rice
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Oh to have two testis would be so nice
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But I'm half a man
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Yeah, I'm half a man
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Wanna die
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end it all, just call it quits
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I can't find a cup that fits
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And at baseball games I feel so dumb
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When I hear "ball one"
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Oh, my God
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How could you have been so cruel
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To give me one family jewel
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And the one that's there must feel so sad
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He's a lonely nad
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Well I'm a marathon runner with just one leg
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I'm a fallopian tube with just one egg
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Oh, I want another testi
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Do I have to beg?
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I'm half a man
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Well I'm a tweedle dee with no tweedle dum
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And I'm a Siskel and an Ebert with just one thumb
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And I'm a Yo Ho Ho with no bottle of rum
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I'm just half a man
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Yeah, I'm half a man
Stephen Lynch - Caught Me
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